Years ago I read a J. Krishnamurti book. The first sentence read, “Self knowledge is the cornerstone of freedom.” It stuck with me from that day forward. Today as I reflect upon it, it still rings true to me, that self knowledge is one key to your own personal freedom. But what does “self knowledge” mean and how do you know if you really “know yourself?”
Over the years I have heard many people report, “I know myself.” Yeah right. I remember saying that in my teens and early 20′s with gusto, and I had no idea what I was talking about. The truth is I didn’t know myself then and in a way I still don’t. In fact, I’m an ocean of possibility.
Knowing oneself is not a fixed destination you arrive at one day, where you plant your flag in your spot, buy your house you live in forever, drive the same car to the same job and then kick your feet up to your nightly ritual of TV. If you want to not grow, this comfort and security-seeking approach might be fine.
Self knowledge means that you have come to an understanding that you are limitless. You understand that you grow, change and adapt and die. You understand this is nature’s law and the Universe’s law. Investigate this for yourself. Don’t take my word for it. Look around and see things as they actually are.
If we are hip to the present moment, no two moments are like the next. The concept of impermanence ripples through our life like a steady stream or a mountain torrent. A person that has self-knowledge and self understanding is open to the inevitable change that exists in everything.
But why do people not want to explore themselves further?
Fear of course. The comfort seeking person has no real desire to change, nor much motivation to do so. I respect that, but you’re not the person I want to grab a beer with or go on a long camping trip with. In addition, many comfort seekers are afraid, plain and simple. Afraid of what? Afraid of not knowing, afraid of feeling what they bury, and afraid of growth.
As my blogging friend Seth Simonds says, “real change starts with a recognition of deficiency [which we all have by the way] and a no-holds-barred desire to improve.“ In other words, you have to want to grow and most people don’t really want to grow that badly.
For men and women who want to find true freedom however, change, growth, and understanding yourself are paramount.
So, when I hear folks claim with certainty, “I know myself,” I don’t trust them. I personally don’t have a clue what’s coming next in my life. Believe me, I get scared, try to pin it down and find a routine, but nature has a way of undermining my desire to be comfortable and predict what’s next. And, being cozy and comfortable isn’t what I want anyway, it’s just what my ego wants.
Self knowledge can only be known through deep self-inquiry and experienced in each moment. If you are not able to identify what you are feeling or experiencing in any given moment, chances are you don’t know yourself very well and could use some tools or guidance getting you in tune with yourself.
But How and with What Tools?
To experience true freedom, we do need a map and tools. Krishnamurti was all about going it alone and not relying upon churches, institutions, spiritual teachers, mentors or even books. The tool he used? Like many philosophers he used his mind and his thoughts. These are fine. But for most folks like you and me, we need a few more tools.
Here are 4 more tools toward more Self Knowledge:
- Solitude to self-reflect, meditate and contemplate your own state of mind. Learn to sit quietly with yourself and just watch the display in your mind as well as in your body. Become a curious observer of yourself. More on solitude here.
- Self inquiry–ask yourself tough questions in any given interaction. Look into Byron Katie, Krishnamurti, & yes, Eckhart Tolle. These teachers emphasize self-inquiry.
- Find A mentor and use Therapy, Group Work, or Coaching. Because in relationship with other people, we bump up against ourselves and get great feedback about how we are and who we are.
- Join a Men’s Group–Read more on men’s groups here.
Krishnamurti says that if you and I want to solve the worlds problems, we need to recognize that “you and I are the problem, and not the world, because the world is the projection of ourselves. The world is not separate from us; we are the world , and our problems are the world’s problems….The creator of this mischief… is you and I, not the world as we think of it.” Eckhart Tolle seems to agree by saying, “The world can only change from within.”
So, take a look in the mirror and get to know that face and more importantly what, and who, is behind it.
As always, I welcome your comments
April 29, 2009 at 7:09 pm
nice read… the evolving epistemological cloud of self
April 30, 2009 at 3:48 am
Dude, I’m a tree. Growth, change – hang it in the wind with a smile on. Yah! Anyone else? Pour some miracle grow – stillness, wilderness, love, music whiskey burgers, sleep.
May 1, 2009 at 12:48 am
Hi Jayson,
When I was…perhaps 12…a family friend I respect very much told me that the secret to life was to, “be true to yourself”. I knew it was lacking something but couldn’t put my finger on what. Now that I understand that one must know something before it’s possible to be true to it, the adage has become actionable.
It can be a painful process.But the pain is mostly in the preconceptions. I’ve never known self-discovery to be as terrifying after completion as I’d imagined it before I took the leap.
But I guess most of life is like that, eh?
Take care!
May 1, 2009 at 2:43 am
Hmmm.
You might also want to look at Adyashanti’s work: http://www.adyashanti.org Pretty amazing stuff.
Is it really an understanding that we come to? I’m not sure. Perhaps it’s more of a non-understanding. I’m not trying to be flippant or cute here.
Understanding is about the mind. What you’re talking about is beyond mind. Language falls apart; it can’t cope, because it’s mental.
Seth’s right: the pain lies in the stories the mind tells itself. The reality – if we can come to face it, to be it – is … well! What is it, then?
I’d say it’s for each of us to experience. Or not. But that’s an individual choice, and no harm, no foul, to wherever you’re at and whatever you choose to look at.
Interesting post; thank you!
May 1, 2009 at 4:02 am
Seth and Grace,
you broth bring up great points. I heard the same thing when I was young. But missed out on the “knowing” part and had no guides to help me along.
Yes, Adyashanti’s work is amazing. I’m slightly familiar with him as I have friends in his community. He is so clear and honest. Language is too limited and mental, but in this relative reality I live in, it can be the gateway in.
Thanks!
May 7, 2009 at 6:02 am
Great Post I love your site. It challenges me every day to push myself
June 26, 2009 at 5:49 am
Jayson,
thanks for pointing out this powerful teacher and his message. I had fun reading into his J. Krishnamurti’s wikipedia bio. I am ever more inspired to investigate who I am and how I am living in this world. This post reminded me that we tend to gravitate toward our comfort zones and that you have to really, really want to work and grow your self-knowledge, inner peace, and freedom.
I have recently been very inspired by the work of byron katie and eckhart tolle and i love to see you suggesting their work.
Grace,
thanks for suggesting Adyashanti’s work and website.
June 29, 2009 at 9:25 pm
Chris, You are most welcome. Keep me posted with your journey and know that me and this site will be here for you to ask questions and share your tremendous wisdom and heart.
J
April 12, 2010 at 10:01 pm
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August 19, 2011 at 10:30 pm
life is an exchange of endless information between everything in existance control was never
meant to intervene we find our selves trying to hold onto what we can control and closing
our minds to that which we cant we have become complacent with routine, life on the other
hand is constantly changing the rules and we try to keep changing them back.fear has become our spiritual guide
August 23, 2011 at 7:23 pm
interesting. can you say more about your own life or personal experience with yourself?