I’ve worked with teens for years and have come to one vast conclusion. Teenage boys need a real, raw, intense initiation into manhood. Many want it and these kids deserve it.
When I was a teen, I lived a pretty easy life so it wasn’t until I was in my early 20’s that I started taking stupid risks and pushing my limits, unconsciously attempting to find the truth, some grain of evidence that about my life’s purpose or the meaning of it all. I did a lot of drugs, drank a lot and pissed many people off along the way.
Had I had a male mentor to check in with, to consult with and to seek wisdom from, perhaps I would have avoided many pitfalls. Not only that, it is possible I would have come into my own sooner as opposed to later, thus serving more people earlier.
At some point on the human journey, boys are supposed to become men. In our culture, we don’t do anything to honor, acknowledge and promote this huge transition. As a result, grown men remain boys even though they look like men.
What would your teenage son be like if he had a male mentor, leading him through a challenging ordeal and giving him course corrections now and again, letting him fall down when appropriate, and mostly “holding space” for him as he heads out on his journey of self-discovery.
The price tag for no mentor, no initiation? One such possibility here. Please read. This is key to know.
You can listen to an interview and learn more about why a rite of passage is so critical here.
There are many resources for your son out there. Here are a few:
School of Lost Borders, California
Animas Valley Institute, Colorado
The Wilderness Within, California
My only issue with many of these programs is that the journeys are very short, even a month-long program is wonderful, but my professional bias is that your son needs at least a year-long program. Sorry, but a month-long Outward Bound course ain’t going to cut it either.
Stay tuned as I’m working on it. No such program exists currently.
Three more important articles on the subject here:
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Wed, Apr 15, 2009
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