Men's Spirituality

This is a piece I recently wrote for the Good Men Project. What does spirituality have to do with being a man? Is personal growth a spiritual process?How is spirituality more suited than religion for the modern man? These are questions this post explores…

Check it out:

More and more men I work with are seeking a spiritual path. More men are hungry for more meaning and purpose in their lives. More and more men are open to a conversation about spirituality. More and more men are waking up to what is possible in their lives.

Spirituality is a tool to facilitate this waking up process.

Perhaps the term spirituality is hard to understand. Still, most of us have had spiritual moments or experiences in our lives. From a newborn child to an epic scene in the wilderness, the unexplainable splendor is everywhere.

I grew up in Utah around the Mormon faith and was raised agnostic. In my teens I became an atheist and even suicidal. Not until my experimentation with drugs in college did I begin to see there was something going on “behind the scenes.”

I spent years searching, wondering, spending time alone, and reading books—seeking something I could not name. Since religion didn’t have the answers I was searching for, I continued my quest. Because I was so depressed and locked up in my life, I finally…read the rest here.

The Way of The Superior Man is DEAD

The book I've had since 2003

The book I've had since 2003

Ever heard of the punk band “Kill Your Idols?” I love their name.  To me it speaks to how we need to differentiate from our teachers otherwise our view of them can become an impediment, or an obstacle that gets in the way of our own waking up process.

This concept or “teaching” is not new. There is even a website called Kill the Buddha after a well known Zen saying. This site sums up the concept here:

The idea of “killing the Buddha” comes from a famous Zen line, the context of which is easy to imagine: After years on his cushion, a monk has what he believes is a breakthrough: a glimpse of nirvana, the Buddhamind, the big pay-off. Reporting the experience to his master, however, he is informed that what has happened is par for the course, nothing special, maybe even damaging to his pursuit. And then the master gives the student dismaying advice: If you meet the Buddha, he says, kill him.

Why kill the Buddha? Because the Buddha you meet is not the true Buddha, but an expression of your longing. If this Buddha is not killed he will only stand in your way.

So, it is with mixed emotions, some fear, and some excitement that I share an important download I recently received.

Evolving men everywhere refer to (more…)

International Men's Day

Since today is International Men’s Day, reflect on these questions surrounding manhood:

  • Have been initiated into manhood?
  • How would I rate myself as a Man at this juncture in my life?
  • In what areas do I have yet to grow?
  • Where do I hold back in my life?
  • What would I do if I wasn’t afraid today?
  • How and What am I contributing to the world right now?
  • How can I help a fellow man today?
  • If I were to celebrate one thing about myself today, what would it be and whom can I share that with?
  • Do I have other quality men in my life that demand the best from me and that have my back? If not, what am I going to do about it?
  • Can I heal whatever wounds I have helped create toward women?
  • What kind of man (father, son, brother, husband) do I want to be? What can I commit to to make that happen

Feel free to share below or with a fellow man. Practice celebrating your manhood with the women in your life. Let them know how you intend to carry yourself as a man. Will you be a typical man who acts like a boy or are you ready to man up and be a man?

Idiot Compassion vs True Compassion

CompassionIn my last post we explored the concept of selfishness as it pertains to personal growth. To take the conversation a step further, we have to talk about service. Why? Because if you really want to talk about not being selfish, then a conversation about being self-less needs to happen.

But what is selflessness? What does that really mean? And how do I know when I am being selfish versus selfless?

I’m here to assert that by being “selfish” you can be genuinely selfless.

Conventional Service & Service Materialism

How is it that service is so often taught as “scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours?” In our modern, (more…)

Isn't Personal Growth Just Selfish?

Screen shot 2009-11-17 at 8.10.30 AMIn reference to attending my leadership training, a client said to me, “Can’t be selfish at this time in my life.”

He’s in his mid-thirties and has been miserable for years. Not happy in his marriage, not happy as a father, not happy in his job. The guy is in a ton of pain. Recently, he had some big breakthroughs and started to get honest, admit everything above, and begin the work toward a different life.

My client’s statement is not new and one I know well. I remember when I first started working on myself–going to therapy, evolving and growing. I was going through a ton of intense shit and no one in my family and none of my old friends understood or could relate. The label they gave me? Selfish and self-absorbed.

There was even bitterness in their voice. Many said it to my face with an extremely judgmental tone.

Wow. Here I was finally taking a look at my habitual, neurotic patterns that caused me, and others a ton of suffering, that might just make me a better person, and I received zero (more…)