Comments on: What To Do When Others Don't Want You To Change http://www.jaysongaddis.com/2010/01/what-to-do-when-others-dont-want-you-to-change/ unconventional spiritual development for men Thu, 09 Feb 2012 10:03:19 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: satijul http://www.jaysongaddis.com/2010/01/what-to-do-when-others-dont-want-you-to-change/comment-page-1/#comment-1432 satijul Mon, 03 May 2010 07:04:49 +0000 http://revolutionaryman.com/?p=1448#comment-1432 Interesting that exactly this same thing happened when I (a 57 year old woman) started to take myself seriously to change in major ways. The family uproar has been painful, but at the core of it all is that they care in the only ways they know how. I hold them in my heart, and love them, and then tell them about my new adventures -- and then they get happy and we agree we really do care for each other, no matter what. No FU. Just WTF, how fabulous! We don't have to all be in the same place to be communicating at a human level. Thanks for a great (manly) post. Interesting that exactly this same thing happened when I (a 57 year old woman) started to take myself seriously to change in major ways. The family uproar has been painful, but at the core of it all is that they care in the only ways they know how. I hold them in my heart, and love them, and then tell them about my new adventures — and then they get happy and we agree we really do care for each other, no matter what. No FU. Just WTF, how fabulous! We don't have to all be in the same place to be communicating at a human level. Thanks for a great (manly) post.

]]> By: satijul http://www.jaysongaddis.com/2010/01/what-to-do-when-others-dont-want-you-to-change/comment-page-1/#comment-682 satijul Mon, 03 May 2010 01:04:49 +0000 http://revolutionaryman.com/?p=1448#comment-682 Interesting that exactly this same thing happened when I (a 57 year old woman) started to take myself seriously to change in major ways. The family uproar has been painful, but at the core of it all is that they care in the only ways they know how. I hold them in my heart, and love them, and then tell them about my new adventures -- and then they get happy and we agree we really do care for each other, no matter what. No FU. Just WTF, how fabulous! We don't have to all be in the same place to be communicating at a human level. Thanks for a great (manly) post. Interesting that exactly this same thing happened when I (a 57 year old woman) started to take myself seriously to change in major ways. The family uproar has been painful, but at the core of it all is that they care in the only ways they know how. I hold them in my heart, and love them, and then tell them about my new adventures — and then they get happy and we agree we really do care for each other, no matter what. No FU. Just WTF, how fabulous! We don't have to all be in the same place to be communicating at a human level. Thanks for a great (manly) post.

]]> By: Jayson http://www.jaysongaddis.com/2010/01/what-to-do-when-others-dont-want-you-to-change/comment-page-1/#comment-508 Jayson Sun, 14 Feb 2010 02:20:24 +0000 http://revolutionaryman.com/?p=1448#comment-508 Jay,<br><br>You are a great example of how having the courage to be yourself gets great results if you stick with your truth. Your old man came around and what a gift you gave him by just being you! Rock on! Jay,

You are a great example of how having the courage to be yourself gets great results if you stick with your truth. Your old man came around and what a gift you gave him by just being you! Rock on!

]]> By: Jayson http://www.jaysongaddis.com/2010/01/what-to-do-when-others-dont-want-you-to-change/comment-page-1/#comment-507 Jayson Sun, 14 Feb 2010 02:18:53 +0000 http://revolutionaryman.com/?p=1448#comment-507 Thanks for your wisdom Graham Thanks for your wisdom Graham

]]> By: Jay http://www.jaysongaddis.com/2010/01/what-to-do-when-others-dont-want-you-to-change/comment-page-1/#comment-506 Jay Tue, 09 Feb 2010 00:48:18 +0000 http://revolutionaryman.com/?p=1448#comment-506 Great post! As a gay guy I can tell you that what you said is true.<br>(Talk to gay men and women. Generally speaking, they know this landscape well. Specifically reach out to fearless gay people who have already faced the gauntlet of judgments/ridicule from others in their coming out process).<br><br>Coming out to my family was a rocky situation, but it forced me to have some serious conversations where I expressed myself, gave them room to feel their feeling, but then made it clear that this is who I am and they could either accept and we would have a healthy relationship or they could choose to constantly express their disappointment, misgivings, etc. and we would have a truncated relationship. Not to make it sound easy, but for my own sanity I had to accept that they might not accept me as I was. Thankfully, with time they came to again see me as their son and not let their fear destroy our relationship. My relationship with them is much stronger particularly with my father, a surprising and welcomed end to a grueling process of self-acceptance. Great post! As a gay guy I can tell you that what you said is true.
(Talk to gay men and women. Generally speaking, they know this landscape well. Specifically reach out to fearless gay people who have already faced the gauntlet of judgments/ridicule from others in their coming out process).

Coming out to my family was a rocky situation, but it forced me to have some serious conversations where I expressed myself, gave them room to feel their feeling, but then made it clear that this is who I am and they could either accept and we would have a healthy relationship or they could choose to constantly express their disappointment, misgivings, etc. and we would have a truncated relationship. Not to make it sound easy, but for my own sanity I had to accept that they might not accept me as I was. Thankfully, with time they came to again see me as their son and not let their fear destroy our relationship. My relationship with them is much stronger particularly with my father, a surprising and welcomed end to a grueling process of self-acceptance.

]]> By: Graham Phoenix http://www.jaysongaddis.com/2010/01/what-to-do-when-others-dont-want-you-to-change/comment-page-1/#comment-505 Graham Phoenix Sun, 31 Jan 2010 23:38:06 +0000 http://revolutionaryman.com/?p=1448#comment-505 This is so important, Jay. I am going through and my partner is going through. It is particularly poignant with me as I try to keep contact with my sons. The most important thing is to let go, as you say. As far as a new peer group is concerned I like the idea that you are the average of the 5 people you spend most time with, think about it. But sometimes you need to look at yourself from your family's model of the world and see what you can do to make things better from them. This can be uncomfortable but very rewarding. This is so important, Jay. I am going through and my partner is going through. It is particularly poignant with me as I try to keep contact with my sons. The most important thing is to let go, as you say. As far as a new peer group is concerned I like the idea that you are the average of the 5 people you spend most time with, think about it. But sometimes you need to look at yourself from your family's model of the world and see what you can do to make things better from them. This can be uncomfortable but very rewarding.

]]> By: Peter007 http://www.jaysongaddis.com/2010/01/what-to-do-when-others-dont-want-you-to-change/comment-page-1/#comment-504 Peter007 Fri, 29 Jan 2010 20:43:19 +0000 http://revolutionaryman.com/?p=1448#comment-504 "How to you dealt with friends and family who didn’t understand your personal development work?" Oprah said it best. ITS SELF-FUL.....NOT SELF-FISH. Until I'm head & whole with myself, I'm no good with others. I took advice #11 for the most part during my growth ;-) “How to you dealt with friends and family who didn’t understand your personal development work?” Oprah said it best. ITS SELF-FUL…..NOT SELF-FISH. Until I'm head & whole with myself, I'm no good with others. I took advice #11 for the most part during my growth ;-)

]]> By: Jeffrey Platts http://www.jaysongaddis.com/2010/01/what-to-do-when-others-dont-want-you-to-change/comment-page-1/#comment-503 Jeffrey Platts Fri, 29 Jan 2010 19:48:14 +0000 http://revolutionaryman.com/?p=1448#comment-503 Great post Jay. I can definitely relate. As much as it might sound like a superficial thing to do, sometimes you just have to look at your friends and see which ones are actually in resonance with the path you want to be on. With family, you can't necessarily ditch them, but you can shift the level and quality of interactions with them. Who knows, maybe you'll even be an inspirational example to them! :) Great post Jay. I can definitely relate. As much as it might sound like a superficial thing to do, sometimes you just have to look at your friends and see which ones are actually in resonance with the path you want to be on. With family, you can't necessarily ditch them, but you can shift the level and quality of interactions with them. Who knows, maybe you'll even be an inspirational example to them! :)

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