Men and Sex

Art by Bryce Widom

Art by Bryce Widom

Most men are locked up and confused sexually.

I am a student when it comes to sex. Sex has brought me incredible shame and unbelievable joy in my life.

Pretty much every guy I have ever talked to about his sex life has been challenged one way or another in the bedroom.

Sex is the most widely googled term. By in large, we are a sexually repressed culture and it leaks out in hypersexualized images everywhere.

Most of us grew up being robbed of a genuine, heartfelt, honest education about sex. Men (and women of course) have received a ridiculous amount of misinformation about sex from boyhood to manhood. Many men remain sexually immature, confused and illiterate. Sex education completely falls short of the what we need to succeed and feel good about ourselves sexually.

As a result, many men are unhappy and ashamed. In addition, with little to no information about the (more…)

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What Straight Men Can Learn From Gay Men

I just returned from my 20 year high school reunion. Wow. Who did I connect with the most? My gay friends who were not openly gay growing up and my Mormon pals who left the LDS church. “Yup, I’m gay and this is my partner so and so….” So, immediately, I was super interested and intrigued about what it must have been like since high school (and before) to have walked in their shoes.

Gay men (and other oppressed folks) have had to face something that I, as a white, heterosexual dude have the luxury of avoiding–the question of personal identiy.

Disclaimer: I speak only from the therapeutic and coaching work I have done with gay men and from the gay friends I have. I invite my gay brothers to chime in here and speak about your own experience. I generalize here and I feel okay about it. Am I sterotyping? Perhaps. You tell me.

If you are gay, from a very early age, you have had to face your identity head on. No matter how much you try to avoid it, or suppress it, it will haunt you, so my gay friends tell me. The core incongruency is so painful and jarring, that it is impossible to avoid successfully unless you are an advanced narcissist and surround yourself with brainwashing so powerful, you completely leave (more…)

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