What’s Possible When a Gay Man Does “Straight” Personal Growth Work? (guest post)

This is a post from my friend Daniel V, a participant about to go through the six-month men’s leadership training. He asked if I’d post this. I said of course.  He’ll write 3 pieces total. Before, during, and after his experience. This is his pre-training post! Enjoy.


I came out to myself in 1991. That’s always the first step. But then what?

I stumbled around for 10 years trying to make sense of this crazy thing called life much less making sense of the sexuality.

For 10 years I went from therapist to therapist spending thousands of dollars and getting nowhere. Often I would feel better but nothing shifted. A friend told me that he had a therapist to bitch about his problems. I saw the same thing in support groups, bitch, moan, angst, pity.


I’m supposed to just sit there and listen to these guys bitch about how unworkable their life is when they just need to get off the damn couch and (more…)

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An Open Letter To Anyone Who Has Ever Worked With Me

While my life is in a major deconstruction phase, one thing has remained constant, my healing work with couples, individuals, and groups. It’s clearly what I’m here to do—facilitate evolution, consciousness and truth in men and women. I fucking LOVE MY JOB!!!!

I feel tremendous gratitude for those that hire me to work with them. To anyone who has ever hired me or worked with me, I offer these words of gratitude…

Thank you.

Thanks for being human  and acknowledging in yourself that something feels “off.”

Thank you for not knowing and having the courage to ask for help.

Thank you for allowing me to come into your life and trusting me with what is most vulnerable and intimate in your life.

Thank you for trusting me to help guide you.

Thank you for letting me bare witness to the truth unfolding and (more…)

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How and Why I Failed in 2010

2010 was a big year of death and failure for me.

Disclaimer: Don’t worry, I’m not feeling sorry for myself or needing any pity. Read on…

Here are some of the main failures.

*In 2008, I started Revolutionary Man to change the world, specifically the world of men. I had a big idea, a big vision. I wanted to reach 1 million men. I wanted the men of the world to step up and get their shit together. A lot of my ego was involved in that project. I failed. In April of 2010, I let go of that brand and the vision behind it. Done. Gone.

*Early in 2010, I visioned a men’s conference that in September 2010 gathered 45 men and women from around the world in hopes of galvanizing the men’s movement and evolving masculinity. I wanted to be a notable leader within that movement. Instead, the (more…)

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