To sign up, click here. Hurry, you save $500 if you get your application in by November 1st at midnight.

The purpose of this training is 6 fold:

1. Initiation: That’s right. First and foremost this is an initiation into becoming the man you are capable of being through powerful personal development and psychology tools.
2. Develop Yourself: Help you commit more fully and more fearlessly to your own personal path/journey and take an honest look at what’s in the way.
3. Leadership: As the world around you gets more uncertain, this training is designed to give you tools to adapt, overcome and improvise. It will teach you how to respond (not react) to life’s challenges and help others do the same. You will be the man that takes people to higher ground in difficult times.
4. Community & Relationships: Provide a tribe (a community of men) where you can get feedback, challenge, support and accountability. We are much more powerful together than we are alone.
5. Service: Remind you of your innate ability to help others and give you practical tools to do so.
6. Celebrate, party and have a great time.

Click here for more details and to sign up!

Sunday, October 25, I will be in Chicago offering a powerful Men’s Group Intensive from 10am-5pm.

Cost? $150/man

Contact Dalton at daltonkfinney@gmail.com, if you want to be a part of this experience. We are almost full, so don’t dilly dally.

What is the purpose? The purpose of this gathering is to start a group a kick ass men’s group in Chicago with very motivated, committed men who support and challenge each other to be the best men they can be.

While I am there, I will be sharing critical do’s and don’ts when starting a men’s group and cover key group dynamics essential to running an effective group.

I will also be doing some of personalized coaching with individuals during the group experience. Men will receive helpful feedback from me and the other group members on how they are showing up.  Ideally each man will walk away with practical tools on how to unlock more personal power and potential.

As one man said, “I have been craving this kind of community for years.”

Some men might not be clear the purpose and value of a men’s group. If not, read this post here.

If you are a man who lives in Chicago and you are hungry for more depth, meaning and accountability in your life, please join us.

What are you waiting for?

However, at the same time, money excites me. Why? Because it is a working edge for me.

In this video Success Teacher Tony Robbins explores why so many people don’t follow through on their goals toward being successful and making money.

Before you watch the video I want to invite you to consider three questions:

1. Does having money determine your success and wealth?
2. What is your relationship to money and making money?
3. What has you not follow through in relationship to your money/success goals?

Because I have so many past negative associations surrounding money and because I have struggled with money issues for years, I am committed to working through any and all money issues.

So, until I get my money-life handled, I look to other teachers who have their money game dialed, to help me.

Does having money determine your success and wealth?

Depends on what kind of wealth we are talking about.

Inner Wealth

I have what I call tremendous “inner wealth” but I am not where I want to be yet with external wealth. Both are essential for me. Many men can master one but struggle living both.

Inner wealth is being “rich” with your own internal landscape. Being at peace with oneself from the inside. Call it self-love, inner contentment,  and believing and knowing that you are okay as you are.

Take inventory of your own inner wealth. Ask yourself the “you” questions in the life inventory from my previous post here.

External wealth

Many men tend to focus on external wealth. How you look, how you appear to others, how much money you can make, the cars you drive, the stuff you have, the house you bought etc.

Men who lack inner wealth will tend to compesate by obtaining outer wealth. They build a mountain of it to hide the insecurities and inadequacies that lie beneath.

What would be possible if you had both?

Money and Your Relationship To It

In my work with men, it becomes very obvious which men have money stuff handled and which men do not. For example, I recently finished my Men’s Leadership Training and asked the men at the very end of the program to pay what they felt it was worth.

The responses and reactions varied widely. One man thought my fees and suggestions were “absurdly high.” Another man felt they were too low.

What I am learning is that the more we can get clear about money, our own worth, what we are willing to pay for quality services etc, the more free we are and the more flow and ease we invite into our lives.

Ask yourself– Do I really need to investigate my money stuff?

For me, I want to engage with the money conversation and get it “handled.” Why? So that it can support me doing my mission in life and allow me to spend time as much time with my son, wife, and friends, as possible.

What about you? What has you want or not want money? Do you want to keep up with the Joneses? Are you constantly comparing yourself to others? Or, do you push away money, judging those that have it, quietly resenting them and feeling self-righteous?

Either way, know WHAT and WHY you want to investigate.

Why Do I Not Follow Through?

From my perspective, there is no better time to engage in an honest conversation about money and what keeps you from obtaining it.

So, if you are interested in money and success, look to people you respect and money teachers.  I invite you to watch this 39 minute Tony Robbins video with two of the most successful internet marketers on the planet. One of these guys made $1,000,000 in one day online. WTF? (Watch the entire thing).

To me, more important than the money part of this conversation is the 4 step process Tony walks you through in order to achieve the success you want. He basically says two things:

1. Know the WHY that drives you.
2. Believe that you can make it happen and take action.

But, to really get it, watch Tony here. This is a must see if you have money and success blocks.

Again, I know the only thing at this point stopping me or getting in my way toward the success I want is my own limiting beliefs.

So try it on that you are the only person stopping you and consider making this commitment:

Commitment 7 – Finances

I commit to growing up financially. I will get my money shit together, which doesn’t mean focusing on how much (or little) I make, but rather on diligently uncovering the entirety of my relationship with money. I will learn how to be in conscious relationship to money matters. I will know the relationship between inner wealth and material wealth.

Resources & Suggestions

• Hire A Financial Therapist or Coach
• Hang around, and learn from other successful people.
• Take a financial awareness class from groups such as Conscious Bookkeeping.
• Read books such as Secrets of  Millionare Mind and Rich Dad, Poor Dad and Personal Power.

A self-evaluation or inventory is done in corporate America all the time. Businesses will spend thousands and thousands of dollars and months, maybe years, do a critical business inventory or evaluation. Why? To improve the quality of their business of course.

It seems interesting that we don’t do this with ourselves. Or, some of you do this kind of inventory too much. You might have ridiculously high expectations of yourself and use your own high standards to beat yourself up.

This is NOT what I’m talking about. I am talking about taking an honest look at yourself in the mirror to see what’s going well and where you could improve.

Why not take an honest look at your life and determine where you need to wake up and where you need to step up?

So, here is a simple outline for you to assess your life right now.

Instructions:

1. Find some solitude to do this project and get quiet.
2. Cut and paste this into a word document and go to town.
3. Find a close friend and review it with them. Why? To receive some feedback from someone you trust.
4. Make a decision on what your next steps are going to be. In other words what are you going to do knowing the truth revealed in your life inventory?

We’ll use the 5 pillars of revolutionary manhood as a jumping off point to explore each area, plus one more area to go further.

Let’s get started:

1. You

how well do I know myself?

how much do I allow myself to feel?

how open minded am I?

What from my past holds me back?

Where in my life am I out of integrity with myself?

How powerful am I? Do I know what it feels like to feel my personal power?

What is my relationship to myself like? Do I love myself? Like myself? Hate myself?

Is there any past behaviors I am ashamed of?

Am I fulfilled?

Am I happy?

Am I at peace with my life?

When I get into a funk or a rut, am I aware of what caused it? How to get out of it? What to do the next time it happens?

When I get triggered by life or by other people, what are my skills to address it? Could I improve upon these skills?

Am I living into my potential as a man? father? husband? son? friend?

Do I know why I am on the planet? What is my life’s mission or purpose?

How would I rate my integrity with myself?

Am I connected to myself and my truth?

What is my relationship to God/spirituality and how am I with this?

In the following areas, where can I improve or be more at peace with myself?

• fitness
• diet
• mental, emotional well being
• intellectual stimulation
• self reflection
• self-acceptance
• body image
• MONEY

What situations do I feel powerless in?

When do I betray myself, my truth, or my integrity?

What is possible if I go deeper with myself and really get honest?

What is my core negative belief that drives much of my behavior?

What is my core positive belief when I feel powerful?

2. Others

How do I treat others?

How judgmental of others am I?

How genuine, rewarding and satisfying are my personal relationships?

Professional relationships?

Do I owe anyone an apology past or present? Do I need to make amends with anyone?

What is my love/intimate relationship like? Is it as deep and satisfying as it could be?

How is my sex life?

How thoroughly have I explored my sexuality? with myself? with a partner? Do I know what is possible sexually?

Do I know what it’s like to really love someone deeply?

Do I know what it feels like to be loved and really receive it from another person?

3. Leadership

What kind of leader am I?

What are my strengths and weaknesses as a leader?

How much do I lead? How much do I follow?

What more do I have to learn about leadership?

Who are my role models in the realm of leadership? Who do I want to be like?

What can I learn from women about leadership?

What kind of leadership model/system appeals to me?

What’s wrong with so many leadership systems out there? How could I do it differently?

What is my core leadership philosophy? at home? at work? in life?

4. Service

How much time do I spend serving/helping others?

How much time do I want to spend serving and helping others?

Do I serve because I get something such as approval or recognition or because I just love to serve?

Is service an integral part of my life’s work?

Is service an integral part of my current job situation? If not, am I okay with this? What could I do about it?

What does it mean to me to serve?

5. Celebration

How much do I celebrate my wins?

Do I celebrate others or get jealous when they are successful?

How much is play a part of my daily life?

How much is having fun a part of my daily life?

How do I stop myself from celebrating the wins in my life? Why is that?

When something goes well in my life, I typically ___________.  Keep it to myself? share it? party?

6. Truth, the present moment: This category is more abstract. It is the background of everything in our lives and what we return to over and over.

What is “the truth” mean to me?

Do I believe I have “the truth” and others do not?

What does “this moment” mean to me?

What does it mean to be present? Am I present? How could I be more present?

Do I have a practice, such as meditation, that brings me back to the present moment of what is actually going on?

What is the truth of this moment?

What more could I learn about the now or the present moment?

Follow up:

1. Remember to continue after this list is complete by sharing it with someone.
2. Next, determine what areas you want to target.
3. Commit to a start date. Set a realistic time-line of when you want to get these areas handled.
4. Always get feedback from others such as a mentor, a men’s group or a close friend. Would it be helpful for you to have an accountability partner?
5. Celebrate your progress and practice enjoying personal growth and development.

Please post your questions that might help other men do a life inventory.

What other areas can you think of to list here?

Comment below…

]]> http://www.jaysongaddis.com/2009/08/life-inventory-checklist-for-men/feed/ 4 http://www.jaysongaddis.com/2009/07/the-dalai-lama-on-health-wealth-happiness/ http://www.jaysongaddis.com/2009/07/the-dalai-lama-on-health-wealth-happiness/#comments Fri, 31 Jul 2009 15:41:14 +0000 Jayson http://revolutionaryman.com/?p=919 I’m a big fan of the Dalai Lama and the Buddhist teachings in general. This article in the New York Times is a helpful reminder to relate to the suffering around us and to remember that you are the savior you’ve been looking for.

Pico Iyer from the New York Times writes…

It’s only the clouds of short-sightedness or ignorance, the teachers from the Dalai Lama’s tradition suggest, that prevent us from seeing that our essential nature, whether we’re Buddhist or not, is blue sky.

Here’s an excerpt from the NY Times article…

“Dream — nothing!” is one of the many things I’ve heard the 14th Dalai Lama say to large audiences that seem to startle the unprepared. Just before I began an onstage conversation with him at New York Town’s Hall this spring, he told me, “If I had magical powers, I’d never need an operation!” and broke into guffaws as he thought of the three-hour gallbladder operation he’d been through last October, weeks after being in hospital for another ailment. For a Buddhist, after all, our power lies nowhere but ourselves.

We can’t change the world except insofar as we change the way we look at the world — and, in fact, any one of us can make that change, in any direction, at any moment. The point of life, in the view of the Dalai Lama, is happiness, and that lies within our grasp, our untapped potential, with every breath.

Easy for him to say, you might scoff. He’s a monk, he meditates for four hours as soon as he wakes up and he’s believed by his flock to be an incarnation of a god.* Yet when you think back on his circumstances, you recall that he was made ruler of a large and fractious nation when he was only 4 years old. He was facing a civil war of sorts in Lhasa when he was just 11, and when he was 15, he was made full political leader and had to start protecting his country against Mao Zedong and Zhou Enlai, leaders of the world’s largest (and sometimes least tractable) nation.

This spring marked the completion of half a century for him in exile, trying to guide and serve 6 million Tibetans he hasn’t seen in 50 years, and to rally 150,000 or so exiled Tibetans who have in most cases never seen Tibet. This isn’t an obvious recipe for producing a vividly contagious optimism.

Yet in 35 years of talking to the Dalai Lama, and covering him everywhere from Zurich to Hiroshima, as a non-Buddhist, skeptical journalist, I’ve found him to be as deeply confident, and therefore sunny, as anyone I’ve met. And I’ve begun to think that his almost visible glow does not come from any mysterious or unique source. Indeed, mysteries and rumors of his own uniqueness are two of the things that cause him most instantly to erupt into warm laughter. The Dalai Lama I’ve seen is a realist (which is what makes his optimism the more impressive and persuasive). And he’s as practical as the man he calls his “boss.”

The Buddha generally presented himself as more physician than metaphysician: if an arrow is sticking out of your

read the rest here…

For more amazing stories about the Dalai Lama, follow this link.

What is your relationship to your own suffering and the suffering around you? Do you run? Hide? Or turn toward what is uncomfortable? Stay tuned for future post on what we as men can learn from teachers like the Dalai Lama and Buddhism in general.

Twitter is the conversation above the conversation and rather than dig through so many websites with so much content, I browse headlines composed in 140 characters or less and see what I want to read. And, you can target the kind of information you want by who you follow.

Twitter has had a big impact on the globe as evidenced in Iran recently.

If you are a man and you are looking for good personal growth and personal development resources, follow these 9 men on twitter and get an ongoing stream of good information written by men, about men, for men.

The Top 9 Dude Twitterers

@JayGaddis yours truly. You are at my site and at least twice per week, I blog about an important topic pertaining to your development as a man. I use a cutting edge approach to personal development and spirituality for men. I often write about meditation and will challenge you to dig deeper within yourself. I post random thoughts and nonsense as well.

@Williamharryman. Bill is a busy freelance writer, a personal fitness coach and an integral Buddhist psychotherapist. He has two awesome blogs (one is the Masculine Heart) that are relevant for men. Follow him as he updates daily on Buddhism, Fitness, Men & Integral healing. William is VERY active on twitter.

@NewManPodcast. My bro @TrippLanier as many of you know is the host of The New Man Podcast. Tripp is a funny dude, so you’ll also get some of his personal rants and commentary. The New Man Podcast interviews great men (and women) on everything from your life purpose to being more fit and healthy.

@ARtOfManliness Run by @BrettMcKay, Art Of Manliness has a huge following on their blog and offers up valuable tips for men everywhere on just about everything from How to Command a Room Like a Man to 100 Must See Movies For Men. It’s endless.

@JusticeMarshall I actually met relationship coach Justice on twitter and facebook. A good man helping men take charge of their relationship problems in their marriages through Hero Principles. Justice comes from a holistic view and encourages men to take 100% responsibility for their marriage. He is active on twitter and will respond to your inquiries quickly.

@PrimerMag Primer is an online men’s magazine with weekly updates for men in their 20′s. They post some cool topics relevant to guys in this age group. As they say they are “the weekly magazine for guys who want to be better men.”

@TMatlack Tom runs  Good Men Book. Org. Tom tweets a lot about men’s stuff and is all about helping men be good dads and husbands.

@dalecguyexpert is a Canadian counselor who specializes in mens’ issues and is a co-host of Guytalk, a radio show in Toronto.

@andrewjparkes Andrew runs http://www.successquestions.ca and coaches men in all areas of life. I dig what he tweets and support’s men in growing into their potential. Andrew’s also not afraid to challenge you.

There are other good men out there on twitter, but very few focus solely on men and men’s growth, and many big names on twitter hardly tweet. Or it’s a one-way conversation. Until I see more men on twitter really offering amazing resources for guys without always selling something, this list is a top 9, not a top 10.

This list may change over time, so let’s hear your suggestions of good quality personal development for men-content to follow. Just leave your suggestions in the comment box below.

It would be great if this list kept growing…

If you are new to twitter, here’s a 9 min video on how to set up an account by my friend Maria Andros.

Step 1. Get clear on why you want to be a part of a men’s group. What is your intention? What are you hoping to get out of it? How do you see a group of guys serving and supporting you?

Step 2. Find other men who want to be in a group that both challenges and supports for mutual gain and mutual service.

Men ask me all the time where to find guys like themselves. Men also confess that they want more depth with their male friends. They report that their male buddies don’t get real enough, don’t call bullshit on them, or they just keep everything on the surface.

So, in an effort to help you find these like-minded men I’m going way out on a limb and make some big generalizations and risk getting some potentially negative feedback about it from you.

Guys who are open to a men’s group are generally the same guys who are open to personal growth, self-help and personal development stuff.

Where do I find these men? At locations where these events, services and programs occur. Retreat centers, yoga studios, workshops, new age bookstores, natural food stores, etc.

Another great place to meet like-minded men in your area is to attend a workshop that has to do with wellness, healing, mens work, etc.

Ultimately, you have to ask yourself, “What kind of guys do I want in my men’s group?”

Next, determine the demographics:

• 6-12 men is a good size. I prefer larger. That way if 1-3 guys are absent, there is still a good number of men present and ready to go for it.
• Age Range? My group has men between 30-60. It’s a well rounded group with a huge set of life experiences. Everyone is a teacher and everyone is a student and each man has that attitude.
• Sexual orientation? Ethnic and cultural background?
• Religious affiliation? For example, if you are a Christian guy, do you want an all Christian men’s group? Might it better serve you to find a Muslim, a Buddhist, a Mormon and a Jewish guy to be in your group? Again, how are you wanting to be pushed? How do you want to grow?

Step 3. Put up a flyer in locations where the kind of men you want in your ground hang around. Churches, gyms, meditation centers, yoga centers, and health food stores can be good places to start.

Step 4. Set a first meeting time and location. One of the guy’s houses is appropriate. A contained place somewhere with privacy. Borrow a friend’s studio, loft, big office, or church room.

Step 5. Have your first meeting. Sit in a circle facing each other.

Step 6. Determine your structure. Use this first group to get on the same page. Ask yourself these questions:

• What is your group purpose?
• What is the vision or direction of your group?
• What is the commitment to attend? Timeliness?
• How often do we meet? Where? When? For how long?
• Leadership: Do we pick a new leader every time? What about a time keeper?

Step 7. Consider creating a curriculum to follow or find another men’s group and ask them how they run their group. Feel free to email me and stay tuned for a men’s group curriculum ebook coming soon on this website.

The best way to get the most out of a group is to stay in the present, here and now of each man’s experience. When guys just report out about how their life is going, it does not quite pack the punch as a man sharing about himself in the moment as he looks around the room.

Step 8. Always come back to your purpose. What are hoping to get out of this group? Review the purpose and value of a men’s group post to get some ideas about what to focus on.

Step 9. Consider hiring a skilled facilitator to come in for a few groups and run the group. This is hugely beneficial and can give you a taste of what is possible if you stay on target with good facilitation. It also can help f you get stuck or lack leadership.

What if I live in a small town and no other guys are around? Email me and if I get enough men interested, I will start an online men’s group for you guys. You can also comment below and invite other men to email you.

Buy this Product How To Start and Lead A Men’s Group

An online group can still be effective, but has obvious challenges. However, through edufire.com, there are possibilities. Either way, it is possible to have more quality, bad ass men in your life who will love you enough to call bullshit on you and support you toward your highest Self!

What other thoughts do you have? What has worked? Not worked?

A world with more men’s groups is a better world!

Good luck and feel free to comment here.

Please join our tribe of 8 men as they begin the process of going big and going deep. Stay tuned each week as I blog our progress and give some instruction. Want to change your life and become the man you are supposed to be? Then join us.

Starting May 2, 2009, eight lucky men will join me for an intense 108 day personal development training. Get ready to change your life in a radical way. The purpose of this Training?

The purpose of this 108-day rite of passage is five-fold:

1. This training will address the 5 Pillars of Being a Revolutionary Man (Chances are within these areas, you are holding back in some way. I will tailor the course to address your strengths and weaknesses. )

• 1.    Self Mastery/ Self Knowledge
• 2.    Service
• 3.    Leadership
• 4.    Fun/Play
• 5.    Community (relationships)

2. To nudge you to your edge. When a man is at his “edge” he’s alive and growing.

3. To challenge you to step up in your life and take specific action to be bolder, badder and burlier as a leader, father, son, husband, boyfriend and as a man. I am challenging you to change your life in a big way.

4. Having received the training, you will be a Man who will make a massive difference in others lives.
5. Help you find the personal freedom that some of  you are looking for.

Stay tuned each week as we dive further in to ourselves, our purpose, our power and our freedom.

Join me and my good friend, Executive Coach and past Military Stud, Matthew Ray Scott as we discuss how accountability and being honest with yourself can have a dramatic impact on the results you want in your life.

I tell a bit about my personal story in this candid interview. You won’t want to miss it.

Here’s the link.

Other than being a Psychological Warfare specialist in the Army for nearly 9 years, Matthew Ray Scott went on to kick ass in the leadership and corporate arena. Eventually he outgrew that, so he started his own company The Life’s Work Group. He also runs men@pause seminars to help men be successful entrepreneurs.

“Today, Matthew serves as the Founder & Managing Director, The Strategic Incubator, a global strategic implementation firm equipping leaders to align strategic vision with a tactical execution of revenue producing activities in taking a great idea and building a revenue-producing process.”

If you can, you ought to check out some other great interviews Matthew has done here.

Watch this 1 minute video for an introduction and how to listen to our interview