Comments for JaysonGaddis.com

Comment on The Straightjacket of David Deida by Lily

Lily — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 06:54:10 +0000

Thank you for this article. I have a hard time finding anyone who is willing to intelligently challenge Deida in any respect. When I first read his book aimed at women trying to fix their men (out of curiosity- I was single at the time and a roommate gave it to me saying it saved her relationship) the message I got was, “Look, sweetie, your strident postmodern feminism is going to leave you barren and cold. Do you want to be with a man or a pussy? Oh, by the way. His ‘direction’ is always going to come first, and if you want his attention it’s up to you to melt into a pool of femininity on the couch every time he comes home, run your fingers through is hair, and stop trying to get him to talk about his feelings with you. Just talk about his ‘direction’ and be happy with all the masculine fucking you get as a result. He really isn’t ever going to care about your shit, and the highest calling you could hope for is to support him in his life purpose.”

The tantra practitioners I meet in the Bay Area all have this black and white Deida-bot approach, and none of them are in committed relationships.
In fact, they tend to firebomb their short, intense relationship within a few months.

And yet, I get it. I do believe that the emasculation of New Agey 80 and 90 men needed to end, as you say. But I don’t think that coming around the back door and asking women to play second fiddle to a man’s mission in order to have a “balanced” relationship is the answer. In fact, it smacks of Catholic school relationship liturgy I grew up with and immediately triggered my WTF response.

So thanks for the article. I know his work and his story offers value to some. It just makes me nervous that this so-called enlightenment requires me to let go of the psychology of Western feminism.

Comment on The Shamanic View of Mental Illness by Jayson

Jayson — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 01:51:43 +0000

http://malidoma.com/main/

Comment on The Shamanic View of Mental Illness by Anna

Anna — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 17:29:03 +0000

Hi Jayson can you post his website I tryed to google but couldnt find it. I would like to contact him as soon as possibal for my con.
Thank you. Anna.

Comment on Sex is a Crucible by Kate

Kate — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 16:25:23 +0000

So, this may be tangential, but I am curious to hear a man’s perspective on this… When my partner continues to allow his heart to remain “off-line,” despite softness and understanding and low-pressure support from me, is it okay for me to be completely uninterested in (or sometimes even repelled by) the idea of having sex with him? In the past, I have (infrequently) had sex with him while this chronic disconnect was present (to make him happy and so that I don’t feel like a frigid bitch) and, ultimately, doing that makes me free like a prostitute. Your thoughts, Jayson?

Comment on Men: Learn How To Validate Your Woman’s Feelings by Wayne Churchill

Wayne Churchill — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 23:55:20 +0000

What is the answer? What is the best approach to validate her feelings?

Comment on The Straightjacket of David Deida by Jayson

Jayson — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 22:10:13 +0000

excellent points Heather! thanks for your input and reflections.

Comment on How Do We Integrate The Ayahuasca Experience? [video] by EverydayGoddess

EverydayGoddess — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 14:19:55 +0000

Thank you, Jayson, for this video. I don’t yet have an answer to your question of how we can integrate the ayahuasca experience, as I’m in the midst of it myself. I would love to be a part of this conversation, though. I’m new to the medicine and it has profoundly changed my life. For now, I sit still in a place of gratitude as new layers of realizations are revealed.

Comment on The Straightjacket of David Deida by Heather Day

Heather Day — Sun, 14 Apr 2013 19:54:14 +0000

Coming from the feminine side- and as someone who recently tried to read “Dear Lover”- I couldn’t agree more. Deida perpetuates the dichotomous masculine/feminine in a way that truly encourages performance. At times, “Dear Lover” verges on smut novel descriptions of vanilla sex- waiting to be “claimed” and moaning “please, please” as the woman waits for the man to enter her.

I’m not sure I totally understand how this is helping us to truly open to one another. Yes, there needs to be a masculine and a feminine. But must the feminine always be the ravished, while the masculine is the ravisher? And must our conception of sexuality always be divided as such? The shock value descriptions belie the full potential of this work. Perhaps it makes it more accessible to the broader population, but I think we’re missing out on a big part of the conversation.

I’d also, however, like to question your use of the word Tantra. I think in this context, you refer only to the more popularized concepts of tantric sexuality, and not the entirety of the philosophy and system of beliefs. In the fullest depths of tantra, sexuality is not any different from meditation is not any different from sharing a meal, because *everything* is sacred and *everything* is worship. The philosophy of total acceptance.

So, I would beg to differ- Tantra is not dead. Tantra, in fact, is more important than ever. And yes- while we can certainly learn from Deida, I personally have put down “Dear Lover” in favor of learning more from this ancient teaching.

Comment on How Do We Integrate The Ayahuasca Experience? [video] by JSR

JSR — Sat, 13 Apr 2013 21:08:23 +0000

J-

Maybe could you talk a little or a lot more specifically about what the integration issues and processes that come up for you are please
?

Thanks

Comment on The Shamanic View of Mental Illness by Brooke

Brooke — Thu, 11 Apr 2013 19:08:57 +0000

I’m a 25 yr old female. Studying zoology at UW-Madison for about 6 yrs now. The whole time I’ve been here things have been really hard for me, which is why it’s taken me this long. When things got really bad; I realized that I needed to figure out what was going on,about 3 years into my time at school. I found an apartment where I could be alone, read tons of books, researched Shamanism (fell in love with it) all the while taking classes. Things got to be too much and I had a breakdown. I started having weird stuff happening and was freaking out. I ended up dropping out and moving home for a while where I ended up in the hospital for a few days, they diagnosed me Bipolar 1. They put me on medication which I am taking now. Not a large dose, I refused to up the dosage. I’m back at school now trying to finish up my last five credits so that I can graduate with a degree instead of throwing away all that time and money (hopefully the right decision, right?)…..my deal here, that I could really use some advice on is…while all this was happening I had already extensively researched this spiritual emergency topic and shamanism, so that’s what I figured and continue to figure is going on, but I couldn’t handle the things going on in my head anymore while trying to carry on with my classes and my physical reality was slipping into a weird state. So when I went home I started taking the medication to help me along until I finish school and graduated (which will be in a few months). Until then I am still trying to allow things to happen, allot myself time to really dig deep and figure things out. BUT I’ve been worried, and now that I’ve read this article even more so about 2 things…that while I’m “multi-tasking”,finishing school and dealing with this transition are the medications I’m taking to help me through this time hurting me? and secondly,I feel like I’m giving up a part of myself and losing it forever by being stuck in school for another semester focusing my attention on school (I mean it is the right decision to finish with only 5 credits left). It’s painfully disheartening to think about. In other words to go along with what was said above, am I aborting my chance to gain my full potential? This is concerning to the point that I cry about it quite a bit and get discouraged as I’m trying to study for my exams. As a last note, I’ve been trying really hard to integrate and connect the dots between the reality that has seized me and the information I’m learning in class. It’s pretty hard and sometimes I feel all for not.