In our previous post on Men’s Health, I discussed how some triathletes might not be as healthy as they appear. In this post, I discuss why making a buttload of money does not guarantee success or happiness. Most men know this one, but many try anyway.

Many “successful” men I work with admit they are not fulfilled. They achieve a lot of material wealth, feel great temporarily and eventually the “dread” slowly bleeds back in.

They have “outer” wealth, but lack “inner” wealth.

These guys might look like successful guys on the outside. They dress nice, act confident and bold, but on the inside they are wrought with tension, anxiety and even dread.  They cope by achieving more external gains such as more money, a trophy wife, or other “things.” The worse they feel, the harder they try to mask the pain inside.

Like the uber athlete, these high-achieving men, dominate their field (the business world etc), but struggle intensely in their personal relationships. They have made their inner world “off limits.”

High achieving guys who’s inner world is foreign territory will seek happiness and joy by looking for it outside themselves. So long as you just focus on outer wealth and neglect your inner wealth, you will be misaligned and only achieve half of the results you are looking for.

So, what are some signs of a man with fragmented inner wealth? Here are five:

1. you look for relief in the form of a dream vacation, masturbation via porn, a new lover, drinking a lot, or by making more money

2. you don’t let anyone “in”

3. you place all of your value on material things

4. you work constantly so as to avoid the rest of your life

5. you have some kind of health issue: heart, lungs, colon, prostate etc.

If you can relate to any of these, you lack inner wealth.

If you want to be healthy, feel at peace, and find true happiness, you MUST work on your inner wealth. You must be okay with who you are on the inside, including your faults, flaws and fumbles.

What’s the medicine then? If a “successful” guy is not fulfilled, then what should he do?

• First, ask yourself what does it mean to be  “successful.” Is it material wealth? Inner wealth?
• Next, ask yourself if you have any interest in getting your inner wealth tuned up and in line.
• If you are a yes to achieving inner weath, many more resources are coming your way.

If you want to have a bigger impact and have success on the inside as well as the outside, stay tuned for more…

When I look around my life I can honestly say that in I’m going for it in most areas of my life.  However, at the same time, I realized how much I am holding back in my career. I work with many men and women individually and when I am with them, I’m there, present, astute, available. But in the bigger picture, I am capable of much, much more.

I also realized that in the area of exercise I have been holding back as well. As an athlete who pushed myself most of my life, my body is pretty jacked up. That became an excuse to not find my way with my physical workouts. So, a few weeks ago I signed up with a friend at the boxing gym. Needless to say, it’s kicking my ass, but is serving me big time. I notice where I hold back in the gym and I have a friend who will call me out if he sees that in me.

If guys are honest, they are holding back somewhere in their lives. Check this out:

I recently sent out a survey to dozens of men between the ages of 26-45. Some interesting themes showed up. Here are a few.

I asked men, “What percentage are you living up to your full potential as a man?” 20% of men said they are living at 90-99% of their full capacity. 39% said they were living at 80-89%. 30% said 60-79%. and 10% of men said they are living at below 50% of capacity as a man. So, one can reason that at most men are indeed holding back, some more than others. In fact only 2 men said they are living at 100% of their capacity.

When asked a follow up question, “What is keeping you from playing at 100% of your potential?”

40% of men surveyed said various aspects of “Work” is what is keeping them from reaching 100% of their capcity (things like “not enough time, burned out, too tired from work, etc). 35% of men said “myself” is the main issue that is keeping them from reaching their full potential. The rest of the men reported things such as time, balance, the economy, expectations of others.

So, what does all this data say? To me it suggests two things:

1) Men are indeed holding back and

2) Most guys believe that the reason they hold back are due to external factors such as the economy, time, and money. If this were true, then the only way a man could live up to his potential is if something outside himself changed. Well, I have news for those men: So long as you wait around for something outside yourself to be different so that you can have the results you want, you’ll be waiting for a long time and you will never reach your potential as a Man.

So, a few tips:

1. admitting you are holding back is the first step. Do this and your on the right track.

2. Now that you have admitted that you are holding back, start making a list of the areas in your life that you were you are holding back and what it would take to not hold back in that area. For example, if you think you are holding back in your life because of money, ask yourself “how will having more money allow me to hold back less?” Put a dollar amount on it. Who’s responsibility is it to make more money?

3. Get some feedback from trusted sources, people that know you well. What do they say about you holding back? Ask them honestly. Would they like to see more of your skills or less of your talents? Make a commitment to them.

C’mon fellahs, what in the hell are you waiting for?