Thanks Jonathan Wondrush for the video skills.

And below is the unedited feedback. Let’s keep this list growing. Please add your feedback for men in the comment section below. This might be a great resource for a man who stumbles across the information below. Who knows, it might be just what he needs to hear.
Show up FULLY..in all areas of your life.
–Shehreyar, 29, Washington,DC

Less talk…. Less self obsession… More action…. More celebration!
–LF Solis, Colorado

When you are acting in a spirit of appreciation and service, pay no attention to the reactions of others  - keep focusing on your purpose.
–Eric Geurkink

Take the time each day to practice gratitude, to exercise, to breath deeply, to meditate. Ask for support, and be open.
–Margaret

Each day, make a conscious choice to live your life. Step into your light, and out of the darkness. The world needs you.
–Clinton Jasperson, 25. Cheyenne, WY

Don’t let your fear of failure keep you operating at a fraction of your potential. Celebrate what failure teaches you and go for it!
–Mark Bloomfield, Colorado

Be strong enough to be gentle.
–Kevin A. Beck

Be Man Enough NOT to Get LAID
–Liana Gailand

Breath deep…..down in to your balls….regularly.
–Joshua Gribschaw-Beck 30, Scottsdale, AZ

Read these 3 articles by Andrea Dworkin: “On Prostitution and Male Supremacy,” “I Want a 24 Hour Truce During Which There Is No Rape,” “Pornography Happens to Women.”
–Molly Boeder, Chicago

Work on transforming and evolving the views of men around the world who walk with supremacy and treat women with the many horrifying ramifications of patriarchy.
–Johannah Reimer

imagine an experience in which men are not the center of creation (social, ritual, intelligence, consciousness, etc.) and live it for one full day of engagement with every one you meet.

–Suu, 47, Crestone, CO

We need you to be leaders, starting within.
–Aaron Williams

Realize you have a choice in everything you do, and find a way to trust yourself.
–Diego

My constructive feedback for MEN is to stop dwelling on the mud that is up to your chest and look up to the people surrounding you and ask for a hand.
–Will Mellon

When you catch yourself judging someone, ask yourself, “Does this reflect upon something about me that I’m afraid of facing?”
–Dan S
One sentence? Ha! The feminine does not speak in one sentences. We tell stories. The masculine is far more equipped to be linear, focused and succinct. To ask the feminine to respond in one sentence limits her full expression. If you are still reading even though I have gone beyond the boundary of the one sentence request, then i would offer this to men: learn the currency of the feminine. The greatest gift you can give to her is connection and protection. There are a cagililon ways to show this – ask the women in your life what this looks like for her. There is no one-rule to follow. That is part of the feminine mystique. We are unique and desire to be treated as precious, felt that we are the only woman in the room and dead sexy to you despite offering our bodies no longer looking like quite as tight or perky as when we were twenty. Make a woman feel adored and safe and she will in turn with worship, appeciate and trust you.
–Beth

My constructive feedback for MEN is;
1) Surround yourself with people that will support you
2) Never Stop learning/Growing
3) Choose to be honest
4) Have fun, manhood is a journey not a destination (as I’m learning
–Spida Hunter, New Zealand
Regain a sense of balance and let go of social conditioning. Make this a priority. Just as Yang balances Yin and the Sun balances the Moon (symbolically) we must balance our masculine nature with the feminine. Stop trying so hard to be something you’re not and realize freedom and creativity require that we break out of the hypnosis of social conditioning. We will offer the the planet much more and our fellow human ,much more if we let go and balance ourselves.

–Dan – 41, Dallas, TX
Trust your gut, stop denying your emotion, pain, and passion, take bold action without approval and define your place in the world as protector, caregiver, daredevil.
–Matt Leiphart, Arvada, Co

Start trying to see the difference between what you think and what you feel. Can you find one?
–Utopicus
Get over your teenage years ASAP and move on to being a sensitive, compassionate, hard working adult who cares about other people.
–Patrick
Remember who you were before the world did its work of tearing you down–be that man.
–Lisa

Answer “Thank you for telling me what’s going on for you” EVERY time a woman shares a feeling of hers with you… ESPECIALLY if you don’t like it.
–Erin Brandt, CA

Own your crap but don’t let it own you. Face your own brokenness with honest courage and work toward being a person of integrity and honor for the sakes of everyone around you.
–Michelle

.let go of what you think manliness is and how you feel you should act and reach true self-confidence by focusing on relationships with the ones you love whether it be a significant other, family or friends.
–Carlos, 24, Provo, UT
My constructive feedback for MEN: Grow a beard
–Derek

Stop letting the fear of disappointment and the perceived notion that others will see you as a failure for trying and not achieving and start DOING.
–Jeff Taylor, Ut
Learn to understand and fulfill your physical, mental, and emotional needs so you can serve the people and commitments in your life.

–Ben, 27, Boston MA

We all need to embrace our societal addiction to pornography and end it.It is destructive in so many ways and sadly pervasive.  An acquaintance of mine posted on Facebook the other day about his long bicycle trip. He LOVES crusty European breads. His stop in San Fran had a pic posted that said “Bread Porn” and there was a pic of a loaf of crusty bread, made me sad! Pornography is no joke!

–Yazzymon

Don’t be so damn afraid of owning your power and to use it in accordance with your deepest inspiration.
–Joona

Treat the women in your lives like partners, not slaves or children.
–Pam Belding

Cultivate mindful awareness of your own suffering and have compassion.
–Gabriel Jessee

Stop settling. Find your purpose, your passion, what you deem best, and go for it, all the way.

–

Ron, 50, Lubbock, TX

Be an equal partner with your woman, loving and respectful — men are not supposed to be dominant and superior over women.
–Jacqueline

Stop settling for less than you really deserve because we are so worth it and we deserve to be happy.
–Randle Fox

Please, develop the character and skills to be direct and clear about who you are – out of respect for all involved.
–Susan Hodges

If a man can’t love other men, he can’t love the man in himself.
–David Cates

Read Mauareen Dowd’s excellent book “Are Men Really Necessary?” She covers both sides scientifically and fairly. The disappearance of the Y chromosome will leave us all with non gender identifiable bodies in the upcoming future. The human body continues to evolve, so don’t destroy your life by identifying with it; Identify with yourself and live YOUR LIFE. I am just breaking free of the yoke of my perceived “role”, which I was ‘successful’ at: it’s a joke, don’t fall for it.
–Roger, 64, Ashland Oregon

Accept responsibility for your actions. Your way does NOT mean it’s right. You don’t ALWAYS have to win.
–Pam

My constructive feedback for MEN is… “Real men get real!” Real men drop the facade and stop pretending to be who they are not… they connect with other men who are willing to get real… they deal with their past… and they do all that they need to, to discover and realize their destinies, which should always result in helping others succeed.
–Darren
My constructive feedback for MEN is to contemplate and re-discover the meaning of Fatherhood, to question themselves as to what is lacking in their relationships with their wives, children, and companions, and to launch out in a daring, personal enterprise of self-giving and commitment as true and manly Fathers.
–Firebrand9

Ask more; assume less.The feminine in women and in yourself requires the quest. Check in, with your own soul and emotional nature before you move; check in with me and my soul and emotional nature before making a move. Don’t decide for me, then resent me because you have failed to please me. Find your courage and learn to cultivate it so you may quest successfully along with me, because dominating, controlling and possessing me will never satisfy you. And you, pointing to me as your source of dissatisfaction is not an act of courage or power or control.
–Gina Vance

Follow two things; your heart and the directions.
–Daniel V, Denver, Co

Lean on Men, not Women
–Justice Marshall, British Columbia

Love. Practice love toward yourself first. Then learn to deeply give and receive love. It’s all there is.
–Jayson Gaddis, Boulder Co

Let those whom you love be free. Trust them and accept them for who they are. If they break your heart, accept the pain.
–Brent, 33, Portland OR

My advice for Men is: admit your fear – it’s what’s behind embarrassment, loneliness, bitching about your woman (or lack thereof), and your rage.
We all have it somewhere/somehow – and we are not brought up to admit it.
It takes courage to say I’m scared shitless, I need help, and I’m going to lean into this even though I’m terrified of failing. No-one got to be successful by running away.
The first step is the hardest, but every one after is a little easier.
It’s working for me, it can certainly work for you.
–Bill Lennan

“My constructive feedback for MEN is to remember that one of the gifts of your being a man is your ability to bring your masculine power into partnership with your connection to your heart (remember that?) to co-create a world that doesn’t thrive on separation – from our own essence or with the opposite sex.
–Geoff Laughton, Lafayette, Co

Words lie, heart doesn’t. Do what is yours to do as you understand it, irregardless of whether anyone cheers or not
–Domo

My constructive feedback for MEN is…
to rigorously discern whether they’re integrating their emotional/spiritual work from the inside-out such that they implode who they’ve known themselves to be, or they’re simply applying outwardly, via their actions and speech, all the self-actualization/new-age strategies, techniques, and vocabulary in ways that “look and sound good” but eventually betray the gap in full-out integrity: “awake” men who don’t wake up to this are sometimes scarier for me than men who haven’t consciously worked on themselves, because the “conscious” man is now better equipped to deny and defend that gap, which is where unconscious manipluation, domination, and other survival strategies still show up.
–Marj Hahne

Realize you have a choice in everything you do, and find a way to trust yourself.
–Diego

Stop dwelling on the mud that is up to your chest and look up to the people surrounding you and ask for a hand.
–Will Creates

The first thing that comes to mind is to keep the preditorary energy in check when interracting with women. And teach other men that predation (exploitation) of women is unacceptable in our society.
–A caring woman

Stop posturing and realize that owning and expressing (without collapsing) ALL emotions is part of being a man!
–Sandy Scotland 19, Toronto

Take responsibility for your own life – step out of what others expect of you and step into what YOU want from life.
–Jo Della Penna

Look at all the thoughts/beliefs that come up in your mind when you think of not needing support – and when you truly FEEL into them, how much fear is hiding under those beliefs? Reach out!
–Michael Vladeck, 36, Boulder, CO

You are good. You don’t have to stay angry at your father your whole life. Don’t forget the dreams you had for your life when you were a little boy.
–Josh Levin, Boulder Co

Start being painfully, brutally honest with yourself and others, stop hiding your secrets. Find others who can hear you and challenge you in your growth.
–Marcus Ambrester, Tennessee

Recognize your teachers when they show up!
–Rick Snyder, Berkley CA

Show vulnerability, it gives permission to those around us to do the same, men or women.
–Tad Hardgrave, Edmonton, Alberta

Stop living your life as a perception of others and focus on how you want to be seen as yourself.
–Travis Willis

Its the little things that keep love alive, like flowers on a bad day, a surprise dinner when she’s had a hard week. This is courtship and you should never stop courting.
–Callie Cox

this is pretty hard to comment on, i feel like its a bit open ended… i could comment on my opinion about contributing causes or my opinion about the most personally poignant manifest. Might be helpful if you could be a little more specific about what the statement should address…
–Monica Mungary

My constructive feedback for MEN is, be honest with yourself, and with the people around you. Tell us what you want, what you really want, not what you think you SHOULD want because you are a man and you are trying to be something your not, we cant always guess what that is. We will all be happier for it. Thank you

–Laura Kelly, 31, Hong Kong

Constructive feedback for men- Have a daily goal- and get it done before 11 A.M. You would be surprised what this will do for your confidence level, and how much you will change your world. I feel like as men we set too many long-term goals, and we get bogged down in daily activities. Having a daily goal and finishing it before 11 or noon even will… See More invigorate your day and resonate with everyone around you, and you will feel better about yourself, feel more productive, and others will notice.

–Jake Carpenter, 23, Lexington KY

Left a comment on your website: “My constructive feedback for MEN is a simple question: How well has that (whatever you’ve been trying in the past, making excuses, blaming others, blaming yourself, etc.) worked out for you so far?” This simple question has helped me jar some stuck friends out of a rut, at least for a moment, to help them realize that there are things they could change, right now, to better themselves; if they just let go of what has failed in the past.
–Matt Zimney, Fargo, ND 25yo

Answer “Thank you for telling me what’s going on for you” EVERY time a woman shares a feeling of hers with you… ESPECIALLY if you don’t like it. It makes a woman feel SAFE. So she can tell you everything. Having no barriers (of withheld communications) keeps our emotions and bodies more alive, more responsive (and more ready for sex!)
–Erin Brandt

Its the little things that keep love alive, like flowers on a bad day, a surprise dinner when she’s had a hard week this is courtship and you should never stop courting.
–Callie Cox

Be responsible and accountable for every action you take. You are not a victim, you are a Man, start acting like one. For me, in this moment, this means really paying attention to my finances and start working on my taxes.
–Tom Taber, 41 – Fort Collins, CO

More men need to hold to the commitments they make and move forward with them, rather than just letting idle distractions and pleasures sidetrack them. And more men need to powerfully know what they want and what they’re inspired to create in this world, and really go for it.
–Craig Peters, 25, Vancouver BC

To remember that you are not alone, and to be in need of support is not weakness or ‘gay,’ but rather a sign of strength, for when we are able to realize where we are limited and ask for support in those areas, we able to truly grow to new levels of awareness of ourselves, of each other and the world.
–Ian Shaw 24 boulder co

Our discontent with life is a direct result of hiding ourselves away from fears in our man cave. Life is happening right here and right now! Come out and take a step along with me into all we fear!
–Jim Bray

my constructive feedback for men is to take a long hard look at history and see the effects of the actions of the men who came before you. if the men who came before you raped and pillaged and looted, then handed down to you the spoils of that theft, do not accept it as “the way things have always been.” I think that we as men have essentially terrorized the globe, and now that many are fearing a reckoning day, we are trying to pass the buck. We as men, as a collective and as individuals, need to look at the the events that brought us to this point before we go any further. i am not saying that we should blame ourselves or blame another man, but that we should take an honest assessment of our society and our selves, and take full responsibility for our own mess. (this is both literal and metaphorical)- there is a tendency among men to throw our trash into a landfill- out of sight and out of mind, but i believe we need to start seeing that it does not just go away. the sneakers that we toss into a waste bin are not just rubber and cloth and leather. they are railroads and strip mines and child labor and toxic glue and aromatic polyamides. before that they were colonization and imperialism and slavery. this doesn’t necessarily make the shoes bad, or you a bad person for wearing them, but i think this realization should be a part of every decision made from this point forward.
–alex szyleyko, 28, pueblo co

My feedback for men is to get in touch with what you truly, deeply desire and find a path through the wilderness until you achieve it or die trying. What the world tries to offer you is never going to serve you or fulfill you – it must be found in the wilderness (both literal and archetypal). Seek mentors and bros – even if that means leaving the known, comfortable circles of co-conspirators that keep you from stepping up in life. No matter how much you love them, there comes a point where you have to acknowledge that the ones you came up with are not going to walk with you to the place your Mission leads you, but new men will come into your life who will walk beside you, guide you, even carry you… and perhaps eventually you will move beyond them too. Just be open to that possibility – your heart will know. Be willing to deconstruct yourself (vs. self-destruct) and rebuild from your core whenever you’ve accumulated too much crap that is no longer serving you and only hiding your light and your purpose – from you and from the world. Hold the deepest desire of your heart as your compass, seek out worthy mentors, and be willing to reinvent yourself when your map no longer matches the territory you find yourself standing in.
–Craig Filek, NY

My constructive feedback for MEN is to stop living your life as a perception of others and focus on how you want to be seen as yourself.
–Travis Wills

Stop pretending you know what you’re doing. It’s okay that you don’t. How could you?
–Jennifer Grove

My constructive feedback for MEN is….
Breathe..breathe deep..practise dropping out of your head (thinkingness) and get into your body (feelingness)…feel your feet on the ground connected, feel where your tight in the body and breathe through it until it loosens..then FEEL into your world and its women as they ARE and watch the magic
–Ian

My constructive feedback for MEN is….Open the door to vulnerability and feel love flow in
–Michelle

For Men: Do you just not SEE me? ;if you did you would know me. If you knew me, you would love me. Be honest and know what you want; please don’t play games.
–Salsayvonne

This is part one of a three-step project I’m cranking out. Don’t worry, this is not meant to just focus on the negative with men. Quite the contrary. However, we need a real-time assessment from everyday people like you. I want a baseline and some collective input from as many men and women as possible.

I only need one statement from you.

I realize I’m asking you to generalize, and it will be most helpful if you think of yourself (if you are a man) or the men in your lives. We men might actually benefit from it.

If you are down to help out, keep reading.

Let’s look at the current sociological landscape of masculinity by quickly reviewing what some experts say.

If you watched the Superbowl this year, you saw the barrage of lame-ass ads directed toward men. Here is a great commentary on them by Mark Morford of SFGate called Ode to the Whipped White Male.

The trend seems to be building about the utter confusion men find themselves in today. Although men are still largely in power, women are outpacing men in the workforce for the first time ever. Women’s empowerment programs are all over the world and are having a significant impact.

What about boys and men?

According to Raising Cain, a PBS documentary, “America’s boys are in trouble. They are the most violent in the industrialized world. Many are unable to express their emotions. On average, boys are doing worse in the classroom than they were 10 years ago.”

Once they become “adults” young men stay adrift longer, putting off growing up as long as humanly possible. This group becomes trapped in Guyland. As of early 2010, one in five men were unemployed. Most conventional mainstream guys are confused, lost, depressed, or putting on a show and pretending to be happy. I have written about this a bit in a previous post “Why men are boys and what can be done about it.”

So then, what about men’s empowerment programs? Can’t they help? Well, uh…..um……yeah…..

While there are many high quality men’s programs out there including mine, it is still commonplace for men to subscribe to the old-school “go-it-alone” mentality. Not only that, but the conventional mainstream man pokes fun of men’s work and men’s empowerment programs calling them “gay,” “stupid,” “weak,” or “new agey,” which, in the end, reveals more about that man’s fears than about the programs themselves.

Even in a recent Daily Show parody, BetterMen.org was made fun of for men sitting around in a circle acting like “vagina-men.”

So, if a man “stays the course” he is screwed, and if he chooses to “man up” and do some work on himself, he is made fun of.

Alas, many men have found themselves in a collapsed stupor, driving their dodge charger as fast as possible to their man-cave, as Morford suggests, to play video games, watch sports, drink beer, and resent their wives and girlfriends. All the while they “pretend” everything is fine.

As a guy who has worn the conventional guy-land hat for years, I know the territory well. I walked in his shoes far past a mile, both sober and drunk, way too many times. I know the pain and I know the mask that covers it up.

Now, forget what others are saying, I want to hear from you!

Here’s how it works:

What is your personal experience of men? Think of the men in your life and look around. Your boss, your father? Your son? Co-workers, boyfriends, husbands, Ex-husbands? What pains you the most about yourself as a man, other men, or a man in your life?

What blind spots do you see men having? Where does society stand to benefit the most if these changes could be realized?

What matters here, is what you think of men. Forget the stats, what is your take? Where are us guys at right now? What is our problem? Please only focus on where we can improve.

What’s “right” about men is coming. Remember, this is part one of a big project I’m working on. I can hardly wait to share it! Stay tuned…

My goal is to get 100 responses from anyone and everyone about what you see as the big issues  men have today. I want brutal honesty!

I will create a video with the most common, most powerful responses and give you credit. This will then serve as our jumping off point to go further toward change, wholeness, and visioning a brighter future.

What I need from YOU!

Send me one statement with your feedback for men everywhere.

Women: Pretend you have every man’s full attention. You could say anything and they would completely listen and then make that change. If you could give us feedback in one statement about where we could grow, what is it? Make it personal. Think of the men you know in your life that need some honest feedback. Consider it an offering to them.

Men: Think of what you personally struggle with the most in your life and chances are you are far from alone. There are other men like you. Look at your circles. Think of your Dad, your brothers, your friends and colleagues?  Take a moment to acknowledge you are not perfect and even you could use a pep talk. Make it personal. Your feedback is service to your fellow man.

Other: If you don’t identify as man or woman, what do you think we need from your unique perspective?

Pick the absolute most important issue to you and write it here in one sentence by finishing this sentence…

My constructive feedback for MEN is….

Then leave your name (first and/or last), age, and home city.

You are welcome to submit a photo (of yourself or of men) for the video. The more personal it is, the more of an impact we can have.

Remember, keep it to one sentence only please!

Just reply to this post below, leave a comment below, or email me your feedbac: info@revolutionaryman.com

When I look around my life I can honestly say that in I’m going for it in most areas of my life.  However, at the same time, I realized how much I am holding back in my career. I work with many men and women individually and when I am with them, I’m there, present, astute, available. But in the bigger picture, I am capable of much, much more.

I also realized that in the area of exercise I have been holding back as well. As an athlete who pushed myself most of my life, my body is pretty jacked up. That became an excuse to not find my way with my physical workouts. So, a few weeks ago I signed up with a friend at the boxing gym. Needless to say, it’s kicking my ass, but is serving me big time. I notice where I hold back in the gym and I have a friend who will call me out if he sees that in me.

If guys are honest, they are holding back somewhere in their lives. Check this out:

I recently sent out a survey to dozens of men between the ages of 26-45. Some interesting themes showed up. Here are a few.

I asked men, “What percentage are you living up to your full potential as a man?” 20% of men said they are living at 90-99% of their full capacity. 39% said they were living at 80-89%. 30% said 60-79%. and 10% of men said they are living at below 50% of capacity as a man. So, one can reason that at most men are indeed holding back, some more than others. In fact only 2 men said they are living at 100% of their capacity.

When asked a follow up question, “What is keeping you from playing at 100% of your potential?”

40% of men surveyed said various aspects of “Work” is what is keeping them from reaching 100% of their capcity (things like “not enough time, burned out, too tired from work, etc). 35% of men said “myself” is the main issue that is keeping them from reaching their full potential. The rest of the men reported things such as time, balance, the economy, expectations of others.

So, what does all this data say? To me it suggests two things:

1) Men are indeed holding back and

2) Most guys believe that the reason they hold back are due to external factors such as the economy, time, and money. If this were true, then the only way a man could live up to his potential is if something outside himself changed. Well, I have news for those men: So long as you wait around for something outside yourself to be different so that you can have the results you want, you’ll be waiting for a long time and you will never reach your potential as a Man.

So, a few tips:

1. admitting you are holding back is the first step. Do this and your on the right track.

2. Now that you have admitted that you are holding back, start making a list of the areas in your life that you were you are holding back and what it would take to not hold back in that area. For example, if you think you are holding back in your life because of money, ask yourself “how will having more money allow me to hold back less?” Put a dollar amount on it. Who’s responsibility is it to make more money?

3. Get some feedback from trusted sources, people that know you well. What do they say about you holding back? Ask them honestly. Would they like to see more of your skills or less of your talents? Make a commitment to them.

C’mon fellahs, what in the hell are you waiting for?