I wanted to thank all of you readers for your ongoing support, feedback, comments, wisdom, and insight into making this blog and my mission more clear, effective, meaningful and relevant to today’s man.

I remember how much fear I had when the first incarnation of this site went up! Yikes! It took me a few months to find my genuine voice and groove as a blogger.

One year later I feel great about what I’m delivering here. Remember this website and every post on it is an offering to you and your full potential.

So, today I raise a glass to you, your truth, and the courage it takes to be fearlessly yourself in this confusing world.

How are you different one year later? How has this blog impacted you? What will the next year hold for you?

If we view birth as a metaphor, then this whole process is one of ongoing transformation and evolution. May I continue to get out of the way and allow my ancestors to speak through me. May this site and the vision of Revolutionary Man continue to unfold and open and be born into the next incarnation of what it is meant to become.

My aspiration is for this site to be the largest and most respected men’s personal development blog on the planet. Please spread the word to other men by forwarding posts you think might serve them.

Stay tuned for some big stuff coming in Revolutionary Man’s second year!

Respectfully,

Jayson

There isn’t one.

But why there is no formal model for being a man?

There are plenty of informal models of how to be a man on TV, Hollywood and famous sports figures. In other words, because there is no formal model, we are left to observing other men in our day-to-day routines.

Therefore, we end up observing whomever we see the most: Our Dads and famous people who we see on TV and our computer on a regular basis.

As you already know, I’m not into ho-hum manhood exemplified by Homer Simpson, Jimmy Kimmel or even Lance Armstrong.

As much as I respect pro-athletes work ethic, their manhood modeling is far from badass.

And, while my Dad was amazing in many respects, he had his own limitations.

Remember that due to our lack of formal initiation into manhood in this culture, there is no template for young boys to become a man. It is all very vague.

In taking a risk, I am providing one formal model for manhood. It’s quite simple.

But as with any system or model, it must be tested against your own experience. And, the essential point is how I live it every day.

I call it the 5 Pillars of being a Man.

If you want to be the best man you can be, it is going to require that you go beyond status quo manhood.

I don’t claim to be “the” man. Ha, hardly. I am growing every day. Each day I am met with new challenges and the Universe reminds me of how I am not living into my potential.

Therefore, I strive to be a man who inspires others into their greatness.

I get one shot at this life and I want to die having given everything I could.

This model is not dogma. It is here for you to work from and explore. Consider it a blueprint from which to measure yourself as a Man

You might want to consider taking a life inventory in these categories.

I am just going to skim the surface on these. If you want to go into greater detail, cruise my website for these themes, download a much longer description of each here, or apply for my Men’s Leadership Training for 2010.

The 5 Pillars of Manhood

Pillar 1–Self-knowledge/ Self Mastery

This is represented by the central pillar (from top to bottom) in the logo above.

The foundational key to being a man in our current time in history means that you know yourself inside and out.  How well do you know yourself?

Do you understand your strengths and weaknesses? How much time do you spend self-reflecting?

You must be willing to be yourself fully without apology and without reservation. This requires to know all of you.

Our capacity to love others is dependent upon our capacity to love ourselves.

If you don’t know your foundational pillar and what makes you tick, chances are you will easily be thrown off in life.

Read more on self knowledge here.

Pillar 2 — Relationships

The next pillar is all about you in relationship to others. Life is about relating to other people.

If that’s true, how are your relationship skills? Intimacy? Sexually? Co-workers? Family?

There must be a feedback loop in life. If I just go it alone, I never know how others experience me and I never have anyone to love me, learn from me, or call bullshit on me.

Have you fully explored the unlimited possibilities of human connection and relationship?

Are you a judger? An enabler? A co-dependent person? How do you do relationship?

How are your relationships with men different than your relationships with women?

What tools do you employ to help you grow in this area? Do you have a mentor or coach? Are you in a men’s group?

In my father’s generation, men sucked it up and did everything on their own. But this leaves us very isolated and this approach to manhood is bankrupt.

Can you still be self-reliant AND be in relationship in a deep way?

Pillar 3—Leadership

Lee IaCocca recently wrote a great book “where have all the leaders gone?”

Ask yourself if you are living into your leadership potential?

Some men are naturally leaders, yes, but we all have the ability to lead.

This involves four main points:

• You have a willingness to take charge and be a leader.

• You are the leader of your own life. You take 100% responsibility for yourself and your life.

• You step up and speak out against social injustices

• You commit to non-violence and social justice as a primary leadership model

Pillar 4-Service (Compassion)

We are on this earth to serve, to help one another. A man dedicates his life to helping others.

He moves from “what can I get” out of life, to “what can I give life.”

You choose a life purpose that has something to do with helping others.

But your service does not come from “I should” serve because then I will get validation etc.  Service is just a part of who you are.

If you are not service oriented, you acknowledge this and begin to work on developing compassion and service toward others.

Pillar 5 Celebration

Life can get serious, challenging and difficult. We also need to smile and have a good time.

You make having fun a priority in your life.

Read more on celebration here.

The Empty Space around the logo.

You could call this the 6^th pillar, but empty space is just that—empty space. It represents the space within which we live our lives and cosmic LOVE.

This can also be seen as a man’s spirituality or spiritual connection.

To find out more about this more esoteric aspect of the logo, it is best explained and experienced in person at one of my live events.

Action Step:

Feel free to use this model as an outline for your life and the kind of man you are.

Evaluate your life in these areas using the life inventory.

I’ll leave you with a question I often ask:

“What kind of Man will you be?”

As many of you know, I am always on the lookout for men who inspire me. Men that challenge the status quo. Men who stand up for the truth and are advocates for social justice and human dignity.  Men that move beyond blame. Michael Franti is such a man. To me, he is a freedom fighter.

I’m on a mission to interview this guy so we can all learn from his courage.

I first heard of him from my old roomate Rose. She described to me how  after each show Franti leaves the stage and walks around hugging everyone in the audience. I didn’t end up seeing him until four years later. And sure enough, after an amazing inspiring performance at the Fillmore in Denver, and proceeds to hug everyone around him.

I love his music. It does inspire me deeply. But more than that, I love and respect what this man stands for. He is not afraid to speak out and put himself in harms way to deliver a message and ask intelligent questions.

“When I first started out, I think that my politics could be boiled down to `Fuck The System’ or `Fuck the Man,’” Franti says. “When you’re coming of age, you’re desperate to change the world, but you have no idea how to actually do it. It takes time to discover that just complaining about the world is not enough. You have to do some affirmative.”

I can really relate to Franti because as a young man I too wanted to rebel against it all and at a certain point, my complaints went unheard and unanswered. I had to grow up but found out I can rebel with respect and intelligence. Hence the Revolutionary Man Project. Inspiring men to take action and rise above our differences.

Here are a few excerpt from his website about him.

“… What’s most impressive about Michael Franti as a recording artist and live performer is his ability to inspire. Ultimately, the heartfelt music that Franti makes and his dedication to greater understanding on a global level, are not two aspects of his life, but very much one and the same.

“Increasingly over my life, I have less interest in being part of the fighting between parties. I’m interested in bringing people together on the left and the right, to face the issues of the day. The problems from global warming to the economy that we face today are so clearly universal that we need to address them together.”

Indeed, Franti, the African-American son adopted and raised by Finnish American couple, has continued on many fronts to reach across all groups in a variety of ways, whether its with his annual Power To The Peaceful Festival or his award-winning documentary “I Know I’m Not Alone”, which featured Franti in Iraq, within the Palestinian territories and in Israel.

One war zone experience informs Franti’s sense of musical mission. As he remembers, “I was playing on the streets of Bagdad, and I introduced a song called `Bomb The World’ that says ’You can bomb the world into pieces/but you can’t bomb it into peace.’ I would translate that. And people there told me, `Oh well that’s an interesting song, but we’re living here where our world is being blown up, so sing us something that can make us dance and laugh and clap. That’s what they want to do.”

“The truth is that we need everybody. We need the ideas of the grass roots. We need the resources of the corporate world. We need the cooperation of the government. And we need the intelligence of everyday people with their street wisdom.”

“As a musician and a man, I more than anything else want to be a unifier,” Franti explains. “I want to bring people together through music and its unique power. And I hope that somehow that sense of unity extends beyond the music.”

Check out his provocative, educational movie here. And watch a music video below. Thank you Michael Franti for being a Revolutionary Man!! If you read this, grant me an interview?

A lot has changed. The cool thing is that since I have changed, new things come in to my life at a steady pace. The more I change, the more I grow, the less boxed in I feel and the more amazing life gets. Lesson? One word:  Change.

So, one week ago my amazing wife gave birth to our incredible son, Lucian. If you’ve never witnessed a woman give birth, it is something beyond words, beyond powerful. It was emotional and epic for me. I’m seeing my wife, and women in general, different now. There’s more respect and honor.

I write about this because I want to keep you posted from time to time about what it’s like being a new dad. I hear that new Dad’s face many challenges. Some of these common challenges uttered by friends and clients include:

1. Feeling more stress if you feel like you have to be the provider.

2. Feeling neglected by the wife. If she’s breastfeeding, a lot of guys feel like they are “second in line.” Many guys report shutting down some and withdrawing from the relationship

3. How do I balance being the “provider” and being home enough to feel like I’m involved and being a good dad?

How then does a new Dad deal? What should he do? Well, a couple of months ago, I asked many new Dad’s this same question. I did a survey and these are the top seven things they told me, in order of importance.

1.    Take care of yourself, maintain sense of self, time for self
2.    Take good care of your wife and cultivate your relationship with her, ongoing. Sex etc
3.    3 P’s. be Patient, be Proactive and be Present
4.    Don’t take it all too seriously
5.    Take care of your money situation
6.    Get support from other dads/guys
7.    Be transparent

If you’re a new Dad, or have been one, I wonder what you think? Please comment…

Okay Men, are you up for the task? This Contest is not for small-timers. Only apply if you are deadly serious and you want to be the kind of game-changing Man people remember….. forever.

I’m only offering 8 spots for this year long Personal Development Training. It’s basically free.

Check it here

The Wilderness (1/5) from Boulder Integral on Vimeo.

Does this guy look happy? He’s supposed to be, right?

A Man finds a good stable job. A man finds a good stable partner or wife that doesn’t challenge him too much, but a relationship where they become best buds.

A man might have a kid or two, buy a nice house and a car or two, and begin paying down his 30 year mortgage. A Man likes other people to tell him how to live his life, how to act, how to think and how to be. He makes a lot of decisions based on what others will think of him.

A Man makes up a lot of stories about how good and bad, right and wrong. A Man might believe that if you don’t see things his way, you’re not going to get into heaven with the other men who “behave.” A Man feels the right to attack others, judge them, discriminate against them all to justify his fearful stance.

A Man values things that make him comfortable, safe, and secure.

On the other hand, A Revolutionary Man has two simple traits:

1.    He has the ability to look in the mirror and be honest.

Change starts with YOU. This means you can self-reflect. It means you are open to receiving critical feedback about yourself and you can listen without defending yourself. You are honest enough to admit you have room to grow and a willingness to do so.

2.     He commits to reaching his full capacity as a man in this life.

If most of us are honest, we are holding back in some area of our life. We not only have room to grow as a person, but we could be doing more with our unique gifts, intelligence, and talents.

Many men play the game of life with the attitude, what can I get out of life? Even more men finds themselves living a risk–free, “comfortable,” safe life. A revolutionary man on the other hand, will look for his edge, meet it and slowly begin to stretch it.

He aims his compass toward what can I give to life and contribute to those around me?  He asks himself, “Am I fully bringing it? Am I playing this game with all of me?”

This has nothing to do with “being good” or behaving good so that we get to heaven or some other friendly place. This is not about being puritanical or hoping that others like us. Nor is this idealism. It has nothing to do with this. You want to give simply because it is who you are. You know you can be giving more in some meaningful way. Your own inner integrity demands it of you.

So, number 2 is about having the willingness to step up in life (in a tangible way) knowing you could be doing more, giving more. You’re open to getting off your ass and, with whatever power, privilege, wisdom, or talents you have, you want to make the world a better place.

If these were 2 commitments you could make to yourself, could you make them? What will it take you to start self-reflecting and aim higher? Again, not because someone else told you to, but because you are simply capable of more and you know it.

Leave your comments here…