Ever feel stuck, alone, unsupported and lacking follow through? Do you still think doing it all by yourself is working?

Well, now might be a good time to get off the couch and start a men’s group. A wha..???

Listen to the New Man Podcast for a fun conversation with Tripp Lanier and me about what a men’s group is and how it might serve you. Click here to listen.

Until now, there has been no up-to-date “how to” guide to help you get a group going. I can’t tell you how many emails I get asking about how to get a men’s group going and what to do. To meet the need, Tripp and I have been working for the past few months and have produced what we think is a powerful product– “How To Start and Lead a Men’s Group.”

In my own life, a men’s group has saved my ass and helped me step up my game in all areas of my life. Having a group of men that have my back has been critical to my own success and fulfillment. More on the value of a men’s group here.

The great thing about a men’s group is that it is basically free. Once you get a group going, it can be free accountability and support for the rest of your life, seriously.

Just follow this link to explore more about how a men’s group can help you.

If you would rather have a group facilitated for you or you want hands on support, feel free to sign up for my leadership training here or get a few guys together and fly me out to your city or town and we can set up a weekend intensive as I did in Chicago recently.

Despite what you father did or told you, there is no need to go it alone anymore. Or, continue to go it alone and see what kind of results you get compared to other men who are getting an accountability, challenge, and support. Observe and take note.

However, at the same time, money excites me. Why? Because it is a working edge for me.

In this video Success Teacher Tony Robbins explores why so many people don’t follow through on their goals toward being successful and making money.

Before you watch the video I want to invite you to consider three questions:

1. Does having money determine your success and wealth?
2. What is your relationship to money and making money?
3. What has you not follow through in relationship to your money/success goals?

Because I have so many past negative associations surrounding money and because I have struggled with money issues for years, I am committed to working through any and all money issues.

So, until I get my money-life handled, I look to other teachers who have their money game dialed, to help me.

Does having money determine your success and wealth?

Depends on what kind of wealth we are talking about.

Inner Wealth

I have what I call tremendous “inner wealth” but I am not where I want to be yet with external wealth. Both are essential for me. Many men can master one but struggle living both.

Inner wealth is being “rich” with your own internal landscape. Being at peace with oneself from the inside. Call it self-love, inner contentment,  and believing and knowing that you are okay as you are.

Take inventory of your own inner wealth. Ask yourself the “you” questions in the life inventory from my previous post here.

External wealth

Many men tend to focus on external wealth. How you look, how you appear to others, how much money you can make, the cars you drive, the stuff you have, the house you bought etc.

Men who lack inner wealth will tend to compesate by obtaining outer wealth. They build a mountain of it to hide the insecurities and inadequacies that lie beneath.

What would be possible if you had both?

Money and Your Relationship To It

In my work with men, it becomes very obvious which men have money stuff handled and which men do not. For example, I recently finished my Men’s Leadership Training and asked the men at the very end of the program to pay what they felt it was worth.

The responses and reactions varied widely. One man thought my fees and suggestions were “absurdly high.” Another man felt they were too low.

What I am learning is that the more we can get clear about money, our own worth, what we are willing to pay for quality services etc, the more free we are and the more flow and ease we invite into our lives.

Ask yourself– Do I really need to investigate my money stuff?

For me, I want to engage with the money conversation and get it “handled.” Why? So that it can support me doing my mission in life and allow me to spend time as much time with my son, wife, and friends, as possible.

What about you? What has you want or not want money? Do you want to keep up with the Joneses? Are you constantly comparing yourself to others? Or, do you push away money, judging those that have it, quietly resenting them and feeling self-righteous?

Either way, know WHAT and WHY you want to investigate.

Why Do I Not Follow Through?

From my perspective, there is no better time to engage in an honest conversation about money and what keeps you from obtaining it.

So, if you are interested in money and success, look to people you respect and money teachers.  I invite you to watch this 39 minute Tony Robbins video with two of the most successful internet marketers on the planet. One of these guys made $1,000,000 in one day online. WTF? (Watch the entire thing).

To me, more important than the money part of this conversation is the 4 step process Tony walks you through in order to achieve the success you want. He basically says two things:

1. Know the WHY that drives you.
2. Believe that you can make it happen and take action.

But, to really get it, watch Tony here. This is a must see if you have money and success blocks.

Again, I know the only thing at this point stopping me or getting in my way toward the success I want is my own limiting beliefs.

So try it on that you are the only person stopping you and consider making this commitment:

Commitment 7 – Finances

I commit to growing up financially. I will get my money shit together, which doesn’t mean focusing on how much (or little) I make, but rather on diligently uncovering the entirety of my relationship with money. I will learn how to be in conscious relationship to money matters. I will know the relationship between inner wealth and material wealth.

Resources & Suggestions

• Hire A Financial Therapist or Coach
• Hang around, and learn from other successful people.
• Take a financial awareness class from groups such as Conscious Bookkeeping.
• Read books such as Secrets of  Millionare Mind and Rich Dad, Poor Dad and Personal Power.

Tibetan Meditation Master

I’m always on the lookout for men who inspire me. Yet, I look around and see very few men that call forth the best in me. These days, with the current political, cultural and social challenges we face, I can become cynical, discouraged, or just want to quit.

Sometimes I have to look to the past for inspiration.

According to one of my teachers Reggie Ray, this is common on the path (of life). We try so hard to change things and make a difference but to no avail. So, we may shut down, check out, or just become comfortable bystanders.

Then, I remember stories I’ve heard of Khenpo Gangshar, one of Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche’s main teachers in Tibet. Both men were fierce warriors for spreading truth and change. They advocated that in order to change things we don’t like, we have to change ourselves. Rinpoche, as many of us know, was fearless about being himself.

Khenpo Gangshar was a great Tibetan meditation master and is considered one of the main forces driving Trungpa Rinpoche’s unconventional style.

In Tibet these men lived as monks, teachers who taught meditation and principles of Buddhism to a huge number of followers. Trungpa Rinpoche often credits Khenpo Gangshar for inspiring him to go beyond the rules and to be himself. Khenpo advised Rinpoche, “study what you are, don’t lose yourself.”

Gangshar’s approach most of his monastic life was to follow the rules and to be a “good” student. He could recite anything on the spot from the scriptures.  One day he fell ill and soon was given up for dead. They put his body in a cell and days later he suddenly sat up much to the astonishment of the monastery.

From that day forward others said he was a different man. Khenpo soon upset a lot of conservative monastic types and many in his community were afraid of him. Many feared him and he became quite the unconventional, revolutionary teacher.

Remember the time. Around 1957, the Chinese had been putting ever increasing pressure on the Tibetans. Monasteries began to be destroyed, many people killed and the country was slowly being taken over.

Since radical measures were needed, Khenpo took two actions that inspire me and that we as modern people can learn from:

1.    He reached out well beyond his known group
He opened up the teachings to laypeople. He invited anyone that wanted to come and hear the dharma to come. He began to teach Buddhism to anyone that wanted to hear his message. And, according to Rinpoche, he even continued to open his heart and doors to the Chinese up until the end.

2.    He had a vision and took bold action
He went up to the high mountains of Tibet, where men had taken vows to meditate their whole life in a cave and he asked them to stop their solitary life long meditation retreat and get down to the villages and help the people. Many were understandably upset and interestingly most came.

The result? Many lives were saved and many, many people heard the teachings he delivered and were able to carry forward in a new way, despite the circumstances.

So, what can we learn from his way of being? Read the rest here

Okay Men, are you up for the task? This Contest is not for small-timers. Only apply if you are deadly serious and you want to be the kind of game-changing Man people remember….. forever.

I’m only offering 8 spots for this year long Personal Development Training. It’s basically free.

Check it here

Allright guys,

As some of you know, I recently picked up boxing. What the? Why the? I’m not much of a fighter. Never have been. My first and last real fight was in the 6th grade with Corey Miller. My friends told me that it was a tie, which I think meant that I lost. Doah!

However, as a man I want to be able to protect my family. With what? My fists. But more importantly, and realistically, I took up boxing is to get fit.

For the past year or so I’ve been slacking in terms of my own fitness. I get injured a lot so I can come up with clever reasons for not staying with a regular  exercise program.

Those days are over for me. Taking care of my body and health is a top priority now. Boxing has been amazing for my level of fitness. I haven’t been this fit since high school when I was on a ski team and we did hours and hours of dryland training drills to prepare for the racing season.

My question to you is, why are you not pushing yourself in every area of your life? It doesn’t have to be fitness, but pick one area where you are holding back and do something about it.

I’d love to hear about your commitments and wins! In the meantime, check out this short video we made at the boxing gym.

This powerful Byron Hurt youtube video explores Manhood in the Black Community comparing two Iconic figures Barak Obama and rapper 50 Cent. I also wrote about this on Elephant Journal’s site.

I first read this post on William Harryman’s site The Masculine Heart. To me this video is an important contrast within the black culture between two very different messages about what it means to be a Man. It is obvious and clear that both Men have a huge following and both represent opposing views of Being a Man. However, the video also reminds us that both men found Big success despite the odds.

How do these two men differ from white Manhood? What are the important lessons here? What do different cultures and different races have to teach about being a Man?

Check out this short video:

In our previous post on Men’s Health, I discussed how some triathletes might not be as healthy as they appear. In this post, I discuss why making a buttload of money does not guarantee success or happiness. Most men know this one, but many try anyway.

Many “successful” men I work with admit they are not fulfilled. They achieve a lot of material wealth, feel great temporarily and eventually the “dread” slowly bleeds back in.

They have “outer” wealth, but lack “inner” wealth.

These guys might look like successful guys on the outside. They dress nice, act confident and bold, but on the inside they are wrought with tension, anxiety and even dread.  They cope by achieving more external gains such as more money, a trophy wife, or other “things.” The worse they feel, the harder they try to mask the pain inside.

Like the uber athlete, these high-achieving men, dominate their field (the business world etc), but struggle intensely in their personal relationships. They have made their inner world “off limits.”

High achieving guys who’s inner world is foreign territory will seek happiness and joy by looking for it outside themselves. So long as you just focus on outer wealth and neglect your inner wealth, you will be misaligned and only achieve half of the results you are looking for.

So, what are some signs of a man with fragmented inner wealth? Here are five:

1. you look for relief in the form of a dream vacation, masturbation via porn, a new lover, drinking a lot, or by making more money

2. you don’t let anyone “in”

3. you place all of your value on material things

4. you work constantly so as to avoid the rest of your life

5. you have some kind of health issue: heart, lungs, colon, prostate etc.

If you can relate to any of these, you lack inner wealth.

If you want to be healthy, feel at peace, and find true happiness, you MUST work on your inner wealth. You must be okay with who you are on the inside, including your faults, flaws and fumbles.

What’s the medicine then? If a “successful” guy is not fulfilled, then what should he do?

• First, ask yourself what does it mean to be  “successful.” Is it material wealth? Inner wealth?
• Next, ask yourself if you have any interest in getting your inner wealth tuned up and in line.
• If you are a yes to achieving inner weath, many more resources are coming your way.

If you want to have a bigger impact and have success on the inside as well as the outside, stay tuned for more…