It's shocking to me how many break ups and blow outs could be avoided if people learned one thing.
The brain research is clear...
If you cannot, and do not, learn to regulate your emotions, shut down, or reactivity during or after an argument, disagreement or fight, you will not only damage your brain, but you will lose relationship over the long haul.
Check this quote out from the International Business Times
"Exposure to frequent conflicts between parents can impair brain development in children and place them at a greater risk of several mental health issues, researchers reveal."
It's just true now.
It's what a lot of psychologists thought, but now we have the facts.
Or how about this from Couples Attachment Expert Stan Tatkin,
"Insecurity and insecure attachment negatively affect brain performance. Development can be slowed down because the brain is using most of its resources to manage being in survival mode instead of being free to move toward evolution, growth, and complexity."
I wish there was a way to make conflict resolution a required part of the classroom in schools everywhere (I have some long-term visions on this, stay tuned). We'd thrive instead of survive...
But since it’s not being taught in schools and we never learned it in schools, and because no couple can avoid conflict successfully over time, I invite you to learn with me, right here, right now.
Come to “relationship school” right now and learn the most vital skill that all successful couples understand.
If I had to choose only one skill, out of the countless I know, to help couples make it long term learning “how to fight well” is the one I'd choose.
In my 2 decades of experience with families and couples, this was the missing skill I observe every single time because it's what had families and parents dragging their kids into forced treatment where I worked back in the day. The unwillingness or inability to do conflict well was the determining failure factor of every single family I knew. Above addiction, above mental illness, and far above anything else.
Later on in my career, same thing...The inability or unwillingness to do conflict was the only reason individuals and couples came in to see me when I was a licensed psychotherapist for almost ten years.
Don’t be a crippled couple when it comes to having a thriving partnership.
Don’t let your inability or unwillingness ruin your awesome partnership.
Don’t let your fight flight fear response drive your partner away…
You can do this.
I applaud your efforts for making it this far in your life and this far to reach this page. It means you are pretty damn serious about learning this one for good.
Because this is like riding a bike...
...once you get it, you've got it for the rest of your life.
And, since the bumps in the road will always be there in your interpersonal relationships, you can rest assured knowing you have the powertools to deal with any challenge that comes into your relationship life.
This course goes beyond arguments and deals with the heart of our unrest with the tension between you and others.
If you want to not only learn how to achieve win-win arguing all the time, but also how to be a resilient warrior when you have ANY interpersonal challenge with famliy, friends or co-workers, then this course holds the keys to your new kingdom to a much more empowered future.
See you on the other side!