JaysonGaddis.com

Another one for the sensitive types (adding on from this post):

Sensitive beings who don’t know how to work with their sensitivity are often “over there” in their partner’s lap energetically, tracking them, noticing them, and then responding to whatever they are reading in Other.

So, here’s a quick 3-STAGE SENSITIVITY MAP to see where you are:

Stage 1 sensitivity. In other person’s lap energetically and emotionally. Person can be a [...]

I’m sensitive. My feelings get hurt. I feel into other people without knowing it sometimes. I can get sucked in to other folks darkness or pain sometimes. I cry when animals are in pain or dying. I can be an energetic sponge, taking in whatever is in my environment. If someone is bullied, or made fun of, I feel the bully and the victim.

To us sensitive ones, everything matters, everything. And that is just right, wonderful, and okay. But we might feel like our sensitivity is “too much,” a burden, a problem. Somewhere along the way for example, our sensitive nature might have been judged, criticized, or shut down. Our sensitivity was not welcome for whatever reason. Fortunately our sensitive-ness never goes anywhere. Some of us just learned to cover it up through behaviors and strategies that squashed it, ignored it, or overrode it. We might have even learned to manipulate our environment or the people around us. But the cool thing about being a sensitive being is that you can’t turn it off. Nor is there a switch to turn it down.

The good news is there are very effective ways we each can learn [...]

Photo by Moyan_Brenn, creative commons, Flickr

A lot of folks, including me, get trapped into thinking that intimacy equals closeness. But if any of us are paying attention to ourselves, we see the setup in that. If we see intimacy through this perspective, we spend vast amounts of energy denying, rejecting, or judging ourselves around our need for space and separateness. Some of us might even become co-dependent or emotionally fused with our partner in our denial of this fundamental need. Instead of this kind of one-sided intimacy, let’s embrace the other side—separateness. Then ask ourselves, “How to I accept these seemingly contradictory energies at the same time, rather than pretend to be all about closeness?” It is critical, if we want long-term, vibrant intimacy, that we heed the words of Bruce Tift and come to know and accept intimacy as a balancing act between separateness and closeness.

photo by Karen Sheets de Gracia, flickr creative commons

I’m aware of some new dads who are in quite the bind. On the one hand, they are devoted to their family. They love their family. So much so, that they work very hard to “provide” a good income and stability for their family. But then, at the very same time, they also feel pressure to be home more—more involved, and more available to their kids. So they bust their ass at their job all day, then “work hard” trying to be a good dad at home. They come home, take over, and might be “on” until after bedtime. Then they are “on” on weekends. They feel pressure on both fronts to show up big. On top of these two, they might also want to be a “good” husband and really be there for their partner with the limited time left. Oh yeah, if there’s any space left, he probably wants space for himself by getting some quality personal time, time to check out, or whatever (notice how this is very last). Pretty soon, this dad is pulled in a number of directions.

The “good guy” heroic personality-types [...]