Yet another few comments on conflict and how not to fight. Most couples get stuck claiming they know “exactly” what happened as they review why they are in conflict.
yeah right. watch this and please
By Jayson|January 25th, 2014|
If a couple wants to unlock their relationship potential, and really deepen over time, they need to clear the decks and get to zero. Zero means nothing is under the rug, no more hiding, and all resentments and withholds are aired and cleared. Otherwise, they spend time getting tripped up by all the baggage that never got finished. Once a couple can burn it all to the ground and get to zero, they can actually see each other. Oh, there you are! Here I am! Wow! But in order to do this, there has to be inspiration, hunger, longing, desire. Or maybe loads of pain?
In trying to make a big shift though, we might find that our early attachment wounds and relationship hurts keep us in a state of
By Jayson|January 21st, 2014|
Epic parenting afternoon.
Not only did my daughter kick my son in the face, she then kicked me in the nuts (by accident).
Shortly after this, they got in a fight in the car, I pulled over, got super pissed, raised my voice, and wanted to break things. (I took a few breathes and repaired that one). Later my son burned his finger, and my daughter screamed at both of us. All through all of this, my daughter, bless her
By Jayson|January 20th, 2014|
Our current way of dealing with “mental illness” is exceedingly limited. Not only do we over-label, we over medicate, and most people, behind their masks, are hurting. Quality “solutions” are few. I wonder how many kids and adults are now medicated in this country and around the world? I’m not anit-meds since I’ve seen some very helpful results when used by a solid psychiatrist. But, sadly, when in pain, most folks are labeled, then given medications by doctors who are overworked, undereducated/qualified about the long term implications, and who are bought and sold by big pharma. Thus, people don’t get the real help they need. Because people prefer quick-fix, over the
By Jayson|January 17th, 2014|
So many of us struggle with boundaries in relationship. That’s why I gave a 2 hour talk on boundaries and co-dependency. Much was covered and so much more needs to be said.
Here’s another six minute nugget from the talk prompted by a person’s real live example in the audience. I’m sure you can relate.
How to set a
By Jayson|January 15th, 2014|
If you don’t get a handle on some of your core relationship strategies such as the maze you’ve created to allow people into your heart, you’ll continue to drive people away. Some of us don’t want to work that hard to reach you. And, that might be what you need to do until you’re in enough pain to choose something different.
By Jayson|January 10th, 2014|
Shame is a brilliant human emotion. It’s designed to help us feel like shit so we do something about it. Our problem is we add shame on top of the shame pile. But shame in it’s purest, most raw form is exquisite in its teaching. Very precise, very simple, very direct. Grateful for shame today. Thanks shame. I’m sure you’ll let me know when I need another helping.
By Jayson|January 6th, 2014|
If our claim is that we are about being totally, authentically who we are, then we need to see all the places, and ways in which, we are afraid to live it.
If we examine ourselves closely most of us are not living very authentically. We are living someone else’s dream in someone else’s value stream. And, if we take a deeper peek behind our mask, it turns out that we care about all kinds of things. We care about other’s opinions of us, we worry about how they might react to us, we compare ourselves. We put ourselves up and others down or them down and us up. We are afraid to feel the stuff we’d have to feel by being our genuine Self. Why do a lot of us behave this way? Perhaps because we