It’s my bias, that in a long term partnership, both parties need a small crew of support outside the marriage. The co-dependent isolated couple has no where to turn during the fight except to their partner. And, as some of you have found out thru your own experience, that’s complicated. It isn’t always effective or efficient. The person triggered by you, will struggle to support you in the heat of the moment. Yes, they can learn over time, but expecting them to show up for you if they are triggered by you will prove difficult initially. Going it alone during a fight is also limited.
Thus, we need community. We each need a pit crew to hold us during our