Most men suck at conflict.
To me, the hallmark of a healthy, solid relationship is the willingness and ability to go into conflict, sit in the fire, and deal.
Here are a few basic points about men and conflict, then onto the process of working through it.
First, admit you are afraid
Most guys claim to be fearless and spend a lot of energy acting fearless about most things. But those same men are often single, unhappy, and terrified of relationship strife with loved ones. As I wrote in my rage post, men commonly respond to conflict either by blowing up, care-taking, or shutting down.
If you want to learn the art of conflict, first admit that you are scared of it. Go ahead and say it out loud. “I feel scared of upsetting _______.” Then you can learn to have the balls to tell the truth and be more fearless when it comes to conflict.
Commit to learning how to do conflict
If you want profound love, and to be a solid leader or community member, learning the art of relationship, specifically how to work through conflict, must be a central focal point of your development as a man. Go there.
Remember that conflict is hardest with the people closest to us
Because of what is at stake, we are challenged most by family, intimate partners, and very close