The Boy Code

My son finding a bug

My son finding a bug

I often have women come see me who consistently report that the men in their lives are stuck, unhappy, and unwilling to do anything about it. The only time I see those types of men is when their lives and relationships start to fall apart.

Why is this?

Are men just lame? clueless? Just guys? Do we really only care about sports, boobs, gadgets and cars? Or is there more to the story?

Men are falling dramatically behind women (here’s a study backing this up, and some other data here). And boys are falling dramatically behind girls in education (Somewhat conflicting info here with some reports saying it’s still a level playing field, and others saying the way schools are set up is more suited to girl learning styles and not really suited to handle the way boys learn).

Despite what these studies show, my own experience says this: Generally speaking, men are limping along while women are kicking ass.


Most of the research out there points to schooling. That boys simply learn differently than girls and that schools, by in large, support learning styles and environments that favor girls.

This is all great and I can get behind a lot of it. However, the “experts” are missing a critical element that starts from birth onward.

My theory?

The boy code:  Boys are trained out of their natural essence and expected (more…)

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