Art by Bryce Widom
The ten commitments of Manhood if practiced, will greatly increase the quality of your life.
Not only that, but you may find yourself more trustworthy as a man.
Maybe these can replace the ten commandments. Why are people following rules that someone wrote that long ago? WTF?
Let these be commitments you make in order to be a revolutionary man and more importantly, to be the kind of man you are capable of being.
I strongly recommend posting the commitments in a location where you can see them every day.
Make it a daily practice to review your commitments. Remember these are commitments you make to yourself, not to some higher power, God, or authority figure. If they don’t fit for you exactly, tweak them.
If you wish, bring these into your men’s group and use them as discussion topics and accountability measures.
Commitment 1. – Potential
I commit to reaching my potential and being the man I am capable of being. I commit to working on myself until I die. I am done with prioritizing comfort, safety, and security. No more hiding. I will get out of the bleachers and into the game. I am no longer willing to be a spectator to my own life.
Commitment 2 – Shadow
I commit to engaging in my shadow and blind spots. I commit to receiving ongoing feedback about whatever is unconscious in me and using practices that help bring it into the light. At the same time, I will also no longer “bury” my past and pretend I’m over it. If something from the past is lingering, I will address it. I will “update” the files on myself and others.
Commitment 3. – Authority
Me first! I commit to being true to myself, first and foremost. I commit to trusting my own experience above all else and getting to know my inner authority. No one holds the authority on me except me.
Commitment 4 – Relationship
I commit to getting my relationship life handled. I commit to opening my heart, no matter the cost. This means being willing to set boundaries, not shying away from conflict, having the balls to be truthful with others, learning deeply about my sexuality. I commit to finding a mentor, doing therapy and/or coaching, participating in a men’s group, and whatever else it takes to have deep, meaningful relationships. I choose relationships that push me to grow.
Commitment 5 – Maturity
I commit to growing myself up. When someone else pisses me off or hurts me and I regress into acting like a young boy, I will reaffirm my commitment to learning how to be less reactive and developing more mastery.
Commitment 6. – Responsibility
I commit to taking full responsibility for my life. No one is responsible for my situation and my life except me. I commit to no more blaming and no more playing the victim I therefore commit t o knowing what I want and finding and living my purpose.
Commitment 7 – Finances
I commit to growing up financially. I will get my money shit together, which doesn’t mean focusing on how much (or little) I make, but rather on diligently uncovering the entirety of my relationship with money. I will learn how to be in conscious relationship to money matters. I will know the relationship between inner wealth and material wealth.
Commitment 8 – Service
I choose compassion over aggression. I commit to living a life of service. I will value the people around me and cultivate both the intention and capacity to help them in ways that matter to them. I seek to understand idiot compassion versus true compassion.
Commitment 9 – Social Justice
I commit to a life of social justice, non-violence, and equality. I commit to being and staying aware of my privilege and power in relationship to other men, women, and anyone of a different sexual orientation, race, culture, or ethnicity.
Commitment 10 – Gratitude
I commit to having fun, celebrating what is already “right” in my life and being grateful for what I have. I also will practice an attitude of gratitude for every challenge in my life and seek to embrace its wisdom.
Are there additional commitments you would add to your personal list? Share them with the other men here.
September 15, 2009 at 8:07 pm
Archaic? Really? Wasn’t aware that even things like “don’t lie”, “don’t steal”, “don’t kill”, “honor your father and mother” had gone out of style.
September 15, 2009 at 8:15 pm
Yup archaic to me. Of course some still apply to anyone with common sense and an open heart, such as the ones you mentioned.
September 18, 2009 at 4:07 pm
Great idea, Jayson!
October 16, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Is there more to this post? You head this “The 10 Commitments,” but I only see seven listed. Can you commit to listing the rest of them?
October 19, 2009 at 10:16 am
Yo Doug, they are on there way soon. I write one or two every week and then update that post. thanks for noticing and stay tuned bro.
J
October 30, 2009 at 6:31 pm
where are the other 3 committments? 8-9-10 – love it so far
February 12, 2010 at 3:39 pm
Has your list of ten changed? For instance, commitment 10 was “open your heart even if it stings”.
February 12, 2010 at 4:10 pm
Jayson,
This looks great, but what happened to the more detailed series you recently ran? I copied them all into a doc and this was the url I used as the source. Are these the same, just updated?
Here is an example of the old ones:
Commitment 1
“I commit to taking full responsibility for my life. No one is responsible for my situation and my life but me. I commit to no more blame and no more playing the victim.”
Commitment 2
“I am the captain of my own ship. I commit to trusting my own experience above all else. No one holds the authority on me but me. I commit to being true to myself above anyone and anything. “
Thanks!
February 13, 2010 at 10:27 am
Yes, it changed. Much more up to date now and integrated. However, one tweak I will make thanks to your comment!
February 13, 2010 at 10:27 am
The old one was great, but now all of the old ones have been incorporated somehow in this new, more encompassing one. Thanks!