Sacred Sexuality: Everything is Sacred, Everything is Sexual (guest post)

Art by Paul Kagan

Art by Paul Kagan

I was tagged in a note recently by a new Facebook friend, Jennifer. The topic intrigued me as I have been exploring a lot around sexuality lately. Of course, I have not mentioned sex much to my blog readers, thus buying into more secrecy, shame, and “it’s personal” crap.  Jennifer, through the below note, and without knowing it, lovingly called me out and invited me to share more on the topic of sex and sexuality. So stay tuned…

I am still very much in process around sex and sexuality. The “old me” believed you teach something when you have it mastered, not when you are immersed in the learning process yourself (I know, more crap, nice story).

The timing could not be more perfect as I have been working with a sexual healer to deepen my sexuality with myself and my wife. I hired the same man to come to my leadership training this weekend to serve my brothers in the training. I’ll be sharing more personally soon.  So, THANK YOU Jennifer! Your note will be the first sexuality post of many to come.

One more thing: I’m with Jennifer–Let’s lift the veil and start to heal and reclaim our sexuality and our sexual power by talking openly about it with one another.  It is time.

Here’s Jennifer:

Hello Friends (some new and some old)

This is a blog post I just wrote and I am debating actually posting it, but I am inspired to share it with all of you… some of you I don’t know and have not really conversed with, however, I value what it is that you are doing on this planet and wanted to include you in this conversation…

thank you for taking the time to read this post pertaining to human sexuality!

The following is the blog post…

This is up for me right now… so I want to talk about it. I am usually talking about birth and motherhood, and yet, what I really want to talk about is sex!

I am a mother of three children, in a partnership of 12 years (constantly evolving and stretching the boundaries of the meaning of relationships – another blog), and I am a sexual human who has been terrified to fully claim this power.

However, I know that by choosing to keep my sexual energy at bay, locked away because of shame and lack of trust, that I am missing out on the pulse of the lifeforce – the ecstasy that is constantly available and flowing and uniting, at all times.

Lately I have been known to say that everything is sexual, sacred, and sensual. The three S’s… A stimulating conversation, a tantalizing diner with friends, a powerful yoga session, a good fuck, a bubble bath, the trance of dance, listening to music, being touched and touching, breast feeding, giving birth, writing, you name it, it is sexual.

Ahhh, what a crazy notion that when you are present in the moment of life, when you are merging with all that is, when you are love and loving, and when you are in connection – you are experiencing your sexual life force, you are One.

So tell me, since many are ashamed of this energy, this sensation, this pulse and since we have been shamed, wounded, and now guarded, how are we supposed to heal ourselves, others, and the planet? (women’s shame is different than men’s shame – but shame there is)

Does it not make sense that we have a fucked up culture because we are terrified of claiming this natural essence, we lack trust in ourselves and others, and we are wrong or bad for actually being ecstatic with life and in the presence of others.

When we do this, we turn our sexual nature into our shadow self and it sneaks out the back door and we all know what that looks like? I am pissed off at our current cultural trends of trying to make everything sexy – just look at media – and yet, we send the message out to the young and old, that you are not allowed nor encouraged to act on those urges!

Ok, here is a thought… We can’t heal the earth if we can’t even treat our own earthly bodies with love and respect. If we can’t honor the sexuality and sensuality of our own body and if we are ashamed of it, than of course we are going to continue to rape the great Mother Earth, of course we are not going to allow ourselves to feel the eros of the planet – the love force.

If we did, what do you think would happen? Well we might actually make different choices, we would treat the Mother Earth like our Lover – with deep respect, regard, affection, attention, care, and Love. What a concept!

earthmother_image

But then again, what do I know. I am only tapping into this great force, this need to respect and honor this brilliant energy that provides the Self and the Cosmos and the Other with great pleasure. Deconstructing years of cultural imprinting that states, be sexual and sexy but don’t LIKE IT. Especially as a mother, a wife, a partner, a lover etc. And if you do like it and want to tap into that energy well, it is dark, dangerous, scary, and dirty. Time to lift the veil and start reclaiming ourselves as a whole sexual expression of a human that we are. With that comes great honor and responsibility to use this power wisely.

I believe that if we are taught to honor this sexual life force, we will honor the other. In honor we cannot wound. We cannot misuse. When we are taught to use this power wisely and with consciousness, we seek different choices.

We see ecstasy, instead of pain. We see love and nurture instead of disrespect and abuse. We see healing instead of wounding. We see passion and creativity and change, instead of depression, lack of empathy, and lethargy. We see a dance, a human dance, that embraces the essence of life in gratitude to experience what it truly means to be Human.

And so it is…

Thank you for listening, I would love to hear your thoughts…

Jennifer

jennifer birthJennifer Summerfeldt, a mother of three, has been immersed in the studies of holistic health, pregnancy, birth, & midwifery, for the past decade. She has a strong motivation to understand the mystical and spiritual nature of life.  She is a certified Doula with a diploma in Holistic Nutrition and a degree in Physical Activity & Sport Studies. She has interned in birth centres both in Mexico & Texas.  She has been involved in a  five year spiritual mentorship with her teacher Whapio Diane Bartlett. Along this path, Jennifer has taken a great interest in holding space for individuals and groups to go deep, drop the ego, and be vulnerable with one another… when this happens, transformation occurs.  She is interested in a variety of subjects including: Human sexuality, Divine Masculine & Feminine, Group Council & Circle work, Integral Living, Human Potential, and of course Birth (of life and of one’s soul). To learn more about Jennifer’s path click on the following link: http://www.holdthepromise.com/about.php , and she can be contacted at  [email protected]

BLOG: www.womenfreebirth.wordpress.com
GROUP DYNAMICS: www.holdthepromise.com
BIRTH SERVICES: www.earthmotherbirth.org
CLASSES: www.onlinechildbirthclasses.org

6 Comments

  • Man – we're like, in parallel universes. The sexuality discussion is catching on fire. Thanks for stepping up. I'm in.

  • Graham Phoenix

    Reply Reply May 1, 2010

    I totally support the freedom to like and enjoy our sexual impulses, to be free in them and to openly express them. My partner and I do that and it helps us to be so free and honest in our relationship with each other and our relationships with others. I don't get how you get from this “that everything is sexual, sacred, and sensual”. I have a powerful sexual life force but I also have a powerful energetic life force. Often they merge but often they seperate. When I am in my creative energy, writing or designing, it's not my sexual force at play but my life force. For me they are different.

    • Jeff Navarro

      Reply Reply August 25, 2010

      I agree with Jennifer's statement “everything is sexual, sacred, and sensual”… The way I reconcile it, is to see that she's challenging us to enlarge our definition of “sexual” to mean more than “having sex” and to see the sex act as a physical manifestation of that greater creative energy. So, I'd invite you to try on the idea that when you're being creative…writing, designing, painting or “baby-making” (whether impregnation is the goal or not)…you're tapping into the generative force–the life force–that's at the heart of everything. It's the force that causes all new things to be brought into the world.

      • Graham Phoenix

        Reply Reply August 26, 2010

        Jeff, but that is what I am saying, I am tapping into my life force, I just see it as different from my sexual force.

        I see the point that what I am doing is creative, generative, bring new thoughts, ideas, work into the world. I also see that sexual means more than having sex. What I feel is that we have a creative life force which, when released, guides us to be amazing in this world. I see my sexual force as a part of this but not the whole of it.

        When I am writing I am not engaging in a 'sexual' act but something bigger and different. When I engage with my sexual life force my soul, as well as my body, engages with another person. It could be purely emotional rather than physical but essentially there is a two way process going on. When I am writing/designing I am engaged, on my own, with my life force. In your view a form of masturbation?

        Just because something is new does not mean sexuality is involved.

  • Graham Phoenix

    Reply Reply August 26, 2010

    Jeff, but that is what I am saying, I am tapping into my life force, I just see it as different from my sexual force.

    I see the point that what I am doing is creative, generative, bring new thoughts, ideas, work into the world. I also see that sexual means more than having sex. What I feel is that we have a creative life force which, when released, guides us to be amazing in this world. I see my sexual force as a part of this but not the whole of it.

    When I am writing I am not engaging in a 'sexual' act but something bigger and different. When I engage with my sexual life force my soul, as well as my body, engages with another person. It could be purely emotional rather than physical but essentially there is a two way process going on. When I am writing/designing I am engaged, on my own, with my life force. In your view a form of masturbation?

    Just because something is new does not mean sexuality is involved.

  • Catalinaowlspirit

    Reply Reply October 31, 2011

    Thank you Jennifer for your honesty and willingness to share. I have felt this way inside me for so long, and yet, didn’t know how to articulate it, afraid to say it, and who knows why.  But just reading this, I feel the power to claim all of me and to express myself always in the ways of my heart. And when I do this, mother earth will also heal.

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