I was tagged in a note recently by a new Facebook friend, Jennifer. The topic intrigued me as I have been exploring a lot around sexuality lately. Of course, I have not mentioned sex much to my blog readers, thus buying into more secrecy, shame, and “it’s personal” crap. Jennifer, through the below note, and without knowing it, lovingly called me out and invited me to share more on the topic of sex and sexuality. So stay tuned…
I am still very much in process around sex and sexuality. The “old me” believed you teach something when you have it mastered, not when you are immersed in the learning process yourself (I know, more crap, nice story).
The timing could not be more perfect as I have been working with a sexual healer to deepen my sexuality with myself and my wife. I hired the same man to come to my leadership training this weekend to serve my brothers in the training. I’ll be sharing more personally soon. So, THANK YOU Jennifer! Your note will be the first sexuality post of many to come.
One more thing: I’m with Jennifer–Let’s lift the veil and start to heal and reclaim our sexuality and our sexual power by talking openly about it with one another. It is time.
Hello Friends (some new and some old)
This is a blog post I just wrote and I am debating actually posting it, but I am inspired to share it with all of you… some of you I don’t know and have not really conversed with, however, I value what it is that you are doing on this planet and wanted to include you in this conversation…
thank you for taking the time to read this post pertaining to human sexuality!
The following is the blog post…
This is up for me right now… so I want to talk about it. I am usually talking about birth and motherhood, and yet, what I really want to talk about is sex!
I am a mother of three children, in a partnership of 12 years (constantly evolving and stretching the boundaries of the meaning of relationships – another blog), and I am a sexual human who has been terrified to fully claim this power.
However, I know that by choosing to keep my sexual energy at bay, locked away because of shame and lack of trust, that I am missing out on the pulse of the lifeforce – the ecstasy that is constantly available and flowing and uniting, at all times.
Lately I have been known to say that everything is sexual, sacred, and sensual. The three S’s… A stimulating conversation, a tantalizing diner with friends, a powerful yoga session, a good fuck, a bubble bath, the trance of dance, listening to music, being touched and touching, breast feeding, giving birth, writing, you name it, it is sexual.
Ahhh, what a crazy notion that when you are present in the moment of life, when you are merging with all that is, when you are love and loving, and when you are in connection – you are experiencing your sexual life force, you are One.
So tell me, since many are ashamed of this energy, this sensation, this pulse and since we have been shamed, wounded, and now guarded, how are we supposed to heal ourselves, others, and the planet? (women’s shame is different than men’s shame – but shame there is)
Does it not make sense that we have a fucked up culture because we are terrified of claiming this natural essence, we lack trust in ourselves and others, and we are wrong or bad for actually being ecstatic with life and in the presence of others.
When we do this, we turn our sexual nature into our shadow self and it sneaks out the back door and we all know what that looks like? I am pissed off at our current cultural trends of trying to make everything sexy – just look at media – and yet, we send the message out to the young and old, that you are not allowed nor encouraged to act on those urges!
Ok, here is a thought… We can’t heal the earth if we can’t even treat our own earthly bodies with love and respect. If we can’t honor the sexuality and sensuality of our own body and if we are ashamed of it, than of course we are going to continue to rape the great Mother Earth, of course we are not going to allow ourselves to feel the eros of the planet – the love force.
If we did, what do you think would happen? Well we might actually make different choices, we would treat the Mother Earth like our Lover – with deep respect, regard, affection, attention, care, and Love. What a concept!
But then again, what do I know. I am only tapping into this great force, this need to respect and honor this brilliant energy that provides the Self and the Cosmos and the Other with great pleasure. Deconstructing years of cultural imprinting that states, be sexual and sexy but don’t LIKE IT. Especially as a mother, a wife, a partner, a lover etc. And if you do like it and want to tap into that energy well, it is dark, dangerous, scary, and dirty. Time to lift the veil and start reclaiming ourselves as a whole sexual expression of a human that we are. With that comes great honor and responsibility to use this power wisely.
I believe that if we are taught to honor this sexual life force, we will honor the other. In honor we cannot wound. We cannot misuse. When we are taught to use this power wisely and with consciousness, we seek different choices.
We see ecstasy, instead of pain. We see love and nurture instead of disrespect and abuse. We see healing instead of wounding. We see passion and creativity and change, instead of depression, lack of empathy, and lethargy. We see a dance, a human dance, that embraces the essence of life in gratitude to experience what it truly means to be Human.
And so it is…
Thank you for listening, I would love to hear your thoughts…