1 Simple Step To Improve Your Marriage in 2015

About 12 years ago, I was a dismal failure at relationship.

I had no idea what I was doing.

I just knew I wanted it to improve.

So, I worked at it.

And, over the years, I’ve tried just about everything to improve my relationship skills in order to get what I want.

But there’s one action step I took that stands out from the rest.

This one step is key if you really want to improve your marriage in 2015.

What is it?

Community. 

That’s right.

Community has the power to help you go to the next level at double the speed.

Surrounding yourself with a bunch of “mirrors” (other people) will double your relationship result, period.

You see, if you are like most of the people that want to improve their relationship, you go to therapy, in private, then you go home put on a mask, and surround yourself with your friends who are also wearing masks.

It’s a total set up.

You come back  to counseling a week later, only to be in another version of the same fight, the same drama, the same issue, only it’s a week later…

…And, then the months go by…. and then the years go by…

You keep hanging out with the same friends who are also stuck at a certain stage of relationship, which is like glue–keeping you from your relationship potential.

Eventually you settle in a land of mediocrity.

It’s easy to do because that’s what everyone else is doing–settling for a “just okay” marriage.

Ummmm……

Just okay?

This type of marriage is supposed to make you miserable over time.

But, once you have the courage to reach outside the privacy of your own mind, and your therapist’s office, and get some “real” friends who are willing to be authentic and grow, the whole program shifts.

For example, when I went to grad school to study myself (psychology), I was surrounded with people who were all talking about what was really going on—their very personal issues as they pertained to the material we were studying–the inner psychology of the human being.

It was like I’d been in the desert for years, starving of thirst and dying of hunger.

Then, I show up in an environment where everyone was being real, and it was like I found an oasis, water, fresh oxygen, food! Wow.

I could breathe again.

And guess what?

Because I surrounded myself with people who were “working on themselves” I couldn’t help but do the same. We were all in the same boat, talking openly and honest about our insecuries, blocks, fears, frustrations.

I was home.

The hiding stopped.

But I wanted more.

So, I joined another community, and another, and another. All with like-minded/hearted people who were going after the same things–authenticity, truth, love, greater connection, and a place where we could relax and be ourselves, warts and all.

The communities I was a part of were so powerful, I grew at light-speed. I noticed how old friends were doing the same old things and I lost interest in them. I outgrew them.

I even noticed how some of my new friends were eventually getting a bit complacent in grad school. And because I joined 4 communities, I was blasting off to meet new people at the next level.

Why does this detail matter?

Because it allowed me to attract an even higher caliber, more conscious woman into my life, who later became my wife.

Because I kept growing, it put me in a position to meet a woman who was more developed.

Specifically, community allows us to see ourselves more clearly, which gives us an edge to getting what we want in life.

With ongoing feedback and reflection, we get to see where our blindspots are. We also get lifted up, and inspired by, people around us who are going for it.

Old friends (or a stuck partner) hold us back.

New friends who want what we want, push us forward.

You see, community is the fast track to get what you want.

So, if you want bigger results in 2015, join a tribe, a women’s circle, a men’s group, a training, a class, that are specifically about improving and enhancing your relationship skills.

Feels like too much work? Too scary?

Don’t worry…

I have a special virtual community already in place for you.

All you have to do is join.

But currently the doors are closed.

Right now, I’ve got an international founding group of people, just like you, who are this type of community.

They are hungry, they want what you want. They are saying “YES” to themselves in 2015 and stretching their comfort zones.

Because they said yes to community, they are placing guarantees in their own lives for bigger and better results next year.

You can be a part of this too when I re-open the doors for just a few days early in the year, so stay tuned.

Without community, you will simply not get what you want as quickly, if at all.

The choice is yours.

2 Comments

  • Scott

    Reply Reply January 6, 2015

    Hi Jayson,
    Just read this and it rang a bell for me. Wife and I have had trouble finding these communities around us, which seems odd as we live in the Los Angeles area! We have been to Circling weekends and loved it, but haven’t been able to maintain that level of community past the weekend. Definitely feel the lack in our lives and look forward to hearing what you have planned for the New Year!

    • Sandra kelley

      Reply Reply February 1, 2015

      Since communities will help with my progress, and I am unable to find one. Can you suggest ways to either create or join another, since yours is closed?
      Thanks and respect ,
      Sandra

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