How To Get Your Unavailable Man To Want You Again

If you are a woman dating or married to an emotionally unavailable man, read on.

At a certain point while being with an unavailable guy, you reach some frustration.

As one woman said to me recently, “I was banging my head against the invisible concrete wall of his heart.”

I can be SOOOO frustrating yes?

But here’s the thing…

My guess is that you’ve been approaching your relationship with your guy backwards.

For example, when I was an unavailable, guarded guy in my former life, I attracted a lot of women who were drawn to the mystery of my lack of openness.

They wanted to crack the code of my heart and I wasn’t willing, or able, let them in.

I didn’t even know I was blocking them out or pushing them away.

And, guess what, the more I struggled, the more they tried to help.

Did that work?

No.

unavailable man

In fact, them trying to help drove me further away.

The women I dated were making the same mistakes a lot of women make. As I said in my other post, there are three big mistakes women make when trying to get an unavailable man to connect with them.

Go watch that video if you haven’t already and read my viral post “Women, stop doing this to your man.” Literally hundreds of thousands of other women have benefited from that post.

But there’s good news…there is another way.

What is it?

Watch this video where I explain what to do instead. In this video, I share one “trick” that will get an unavailable man to want you, pay attention to you, and open his heart to you.

Seriously.

Check it out.

What’s the trick in case you didn’t watch the video?

It’s really quite simple.

So, instead of EHH, the trick is this:

Take the attention off him, and begin to focus on your own life, your empowerment, and how amazing you are.

In other words, focus all of your attention on you.

That’s right.

No need to wait around for scraps that resemble affection from him.

I guarantee you, when you focus on your own self care, self love, and self empowerment, he’ll do one of three things:

  1. Be inspired and snap out of his fog and move toward you
  2. Feel intimidated and check out further
  3. Get clingy, needy, and desperate

All have benefits.

Think about it. When we see someone getting empowered in their life the normal human reaction is to get inspired.  Or we compare ourselves and get jealous, thus collapsing into our own inadequacy. Or finally, we start to feel threatened and this wakes up our desire to not be left alone.

Men do the same thing being around amazing women. They rise to meet them, they shut down and feel small, or they get needy.

But women who continue to do what they’ve always done by trying to “crack the code” of a shut down man’s heart, keep both parties stuck in the middle thus eroding the relationship over time.

This is an awful dynamic to be in. I was the guy in this every time.

I know, you want to “figure him out” to “get inside his head” and to “get him to love you”, right? I know, it makes sense.

So, if you truly want to figure him out, so you can get the love you want, then download this simple, yet proven method to get him to pay more attention to you It happens quick. 

2 Comments

  • Victoria

    Reply Reply March 14, 2016

    Hey Jayson, Love you stuff, just listened to a podcast and seen many of your posts on FB over the past year or so. I went to Naropa as well (an MA in Wilderness therapy), and appreciate your authenticity. I was disappointed to see these last lines in this post –

    “So, if you truly want to figure him out, so you can get the love you want, then download this simple, yet proven method to get him to pay more attention to you. It happens quick.
    I Want Him To Pay Attention!
    – See more at: https://www.jaysongaddis.com/2015/10/how-to-get-your-unavailable-man-to-want-you-again/#sthash.ctjP3pN7.dpuf

    You just spent the whole article getting away from this thinking and now you label this link at the end “I want him to pay more attention!”? How about, “How to Focus on Myself So I Get What I Really Need!”? I think you are probably the last person to be ‘gimmicky’ – but the ending & button at the end of the article feels ‘gimmicky’ indeed. Please let me know your thoughts on this if you wish to respond. Perhaps you have a totally different perspective I’d appreciate hearing.

    Your stuff is awesome and I signed up for the iTunes Podcast. You are putting beautiful work out there, thank you for speaking words that are dead on!!

    Victoria

  • Jenilea

    Reply Reply November 11, 2017

    Thanks Jayson! I didn’t realize how fragile I was. I actually cried watching a 4 minute video. You are so right! My focus is always on him. i’m in a new relationship of five months and become wrecked with insecurity every five minutes. I thought I’d be happier being in love with someone but it’s making me lose control. Starting today I’m going to stop myself in my tracks when I see myself reeling over his actions or lack thereof and turn it around to me.

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