How To Get Your Men's Group Up and Running

 men's groupFollowing up on my last post about the purpose and value of a men’s group, in this post I’m covering a few key steps when starting a men’s group.

Step 1. Get clear on why you want to be a part of a men’s group. What is your intention? What are you hoping to get out of it? How do you see a group of guys serving and supporting you?

Step 2. Find other men who want to be in a group that both challenges and supports for mutual gain and mutual service.

Men ask me all the time where to find guys like themselves. Men also confess that they want more depth with their male friends. They report that their male buddies don’t get real enough, don’t call bullshit on them, or they just keep everything on the surface.

So, in an effort to help you find these like-minded men I’m going way out on a limb and make some big generalizations and risk getting some potentially negative feedback about it from you.

Guys who are open to a men’s group are generally the same guys who are open to personal growth, self-help and personal development stuff.

Where do I find these men? At locations where these events, services and programs occur. Retreat centers, yoga studios, workshops, new age bookstores, natural food stores, etc.

Another great place to meet like-minded men in your area is to attend a workshop that has to do with wellness, healing, mens work, etc.

Ultimately, you have to ask yourself, “What kind of guys do I want in my men’s group?”

Next, determine the demographics:

  • 6-12 men is a good size. I prefer larger. That way if 1-3 guys are absent, there is still a good number of men present and ready to go for it.
  • Age Range? My group has men between 30-60. It’s a well rounded group with a huge set of life experiences. Everyone is a teacher and everyone is a student and each man has that attitude.
  • Sexual orientation? Ethnic and cultural background?
  • Religious affiliation? For example, if you are a Christian guy, do you want an all Christian men’s group? Might it better serve you to find a Muslim, a Buddhist, a Mormon and a Jewish guy to be in your group? Again, how are you wanting to be pushed? How do you want to grow?

Step 3. Put up a flyer in locations where the kind of men you want in your ground hang around. Churches, gyms, meditation centers, yoga centers, and health food stores can be good places to start.

Step 4. Set a first meeting time and location. One of the guy’s houses is appropriate. A contained place somewhere with privacy. Borrow a friend’s studio, loft, big office, or church room.

Step 5. Have your first meeting. Sit in a circle facing each other.

Step 6. Determine your structure. Use this first group to get on the same page. Ask yourself these questions:

  • What is your group purpose?
  • What is the vision or direction of your group?
  • What is the commitment to attend? Timeliness?
  • How often do we meet? Where? When? For how long?
  • Leadership: Do we pick a new leader every time? What about a time keeper?

Step 7. Consider creating a curriculum to follow or find another men’s group and ask them how they run their group. Feel free to email me and stay tuned for a men’s group curriculum ebook coming soon on this website.

The best way to get the most out of a group is to stay in the present, here and now of each man’s experience. When guys just report out about how their life is going, it does not quite pack the punch as a man sharing about himself in the moment as he looks around the room.

Step 8. Always come back to your purpose. What are hoping to get out of this group? Review the purpose and value of a men’s group post to get some ideas about what to focus on.

Step 9. Consider hiring a skilled facilitator to come in for a few groups and run the group. This is hugely beneficial and can give you a taste of what is possible if you stay on target with good facilitation. It also can help f you get stuck or lack leadership.

What if I live in a small town and no other guys are around? Email me and if I get enough men interested, I will start an online men’s group for you guys. You can also comment below and invite other men to email you.

Buy this Product How To Start and Lead A Men’s Group

An online group can still be effective, but has obvious challenges. However, through edufire.com, there are possibilities. Either way, it is possible to have more quality, bad ass men in your life who will love you enough to call bullshit on you and support you toward your highest Self!

What other thoughts do you have? What has worked? Not worked?

A world with more men’s groups is a better world!

Good luck and feel free to comment here.

18 Comments

  • Jeff Bridges

    Reply Reply July 26, 2009

    So I only get part of the content. The story ends for me after “Men also confess that”

    I’d like to read this, please!

    • jayson

      Reply Reply July 27, 2009

      Jeff, should be good now. thanks for the heads up!

      Jayson

  • Wolfneyetna

    Reply Reply November 1, 2009

    Jayson, I just got hip to your site through your interviews with Tripp Lanier, on the New Man Podcast. What a great resource for men you have here! Thanks for the great information on this site.

    A great resource for men who want to start a men’s group – a book entitled “A Circle of Men”. Written by Bill Kauth, one of the founders of The ManKind Project. You can buy it at Amazon.

    This is a great book that provides both format and content for a men’s group. Bill gives great detail on a number of processes that men can use to develop trust, respect and intimacy – three characteristics of a men’s group that I think are key to long-term success.

    I’ve sat in one men’s group for the last six years; and two others for a couple years before that. A couple of important things from my perspective….
    You need a format for the meeting – some ritual at the front end to call men to presence; and at the back end to release the energy of the circle. It’s nice to have some definition for what happens in between as well.
    No one man should be considered a “leader”. Having a different man lead every week calls men to step outside their comfort zone, and access the leader within.

    What’s really interesting about a mens group… when men speak from their hearts, they’re speaking from a place of vulnerability. Our society tends to equate vulnerability with weakness. But what I’ve found is that when a man is vulnerable with me…. when he shows me what’s eating him up, and how painful that is for him – my heart opens to that man, and I trust him like a brother. I don’t see weakness… I see true masculine power in authenticity and connection to one’s feelings.

    I can honestly say that I’ve had more growth as a result of sitting in a men’s group for 8 years, than from any of the other (considerable) personal growth work I’ve done.

  • air max shoes

    Reply Reply June 7, 2010

    Well , the view of the passage is totally correct ,your details is really reasonable and you guy give us valuable informative post, I totally agree the standpoint of upstairs. I often surfing on this forum when I m free and I find there are so much good information we can learn in this forum!
    friednoodle

  • air jordan 12

    Reply Reply June 8, 2010

    Here elaborates the matter not only extensively but also detailly .I support the
    write's unique point.It is useful and benefit to your daily life.You can go those
    sits to know more relate things.They are strongly recommended by friends.Personally!
    http://likeblackhulks.com/

  • Owen Marcus

    Reply Reply January 14, 2012

    Jayson I wanted to thank you for your clear and simple outline on how to start a men’s group.

    You’re right, men’s groups are great. After 15 years of participating in them and leading them I can say I don’t know a better way for men to get what they want in life.

    You and all the men I have sat with inspired me to create Men Corps to help men start and run their groups. We are continuing to develop more free guides for these men.

  • JAVIER AGUILAR

    Reply Reply September 11, 2012

    Hey whats up, i live in newyork city sorry for my poor grammer i guess i can blame it on the city i would love to start a mens group i am a bus driver for mta in manhattan come out of a garage with about 300 men been wanting to this for some time now some of the guys are very excited about it i just dont want to start out wrong a few guys said to put up a flier thats fine but what topics and how do i start out and keep it going also as far as money for events or just meetings in general how does that work thanks a lot for your help god bless!

  • Willy

    Reply Reply January 2, 2013

    So we’re starting a mens group. And I would like some ideas on some books that you would recommend to use in a mens group? Thanks

  • John

    Reply Reply March 3, 2014

    Hi, I love my men’s group and the gentleman that manages the group charges a fee. It’s a pretty hefty fee whether or not you show up. It’s good cause it shows a commitment and you feel it in the pocket book if you don’t show. Personally I look forward to the group every week, but sometimes, I’m just worn out and don’t want to go and open up. The money can sometimes get me to show up. The other concern is that the guys just decide to do it on their own. This wouldn’t happen with my men’s group cause the man who run’s it has a ton of experience and I personally don’t think it would be as valuable without him. . Just curious on your thoughts about charging, especially if the person starting the group doesn’t have a ton of experience.

    • Jayson

      Reply Reply March 3, 2014

      john, great questions. it’s a trade off. benefits and drawbacks to either way right? initially i prefer to have guys get an experience of a super solid facilitator. then if you do a few rounds with that leader, it’s more “in you” to go off on your own, which is ultimately best—to empower a bunch of guys to run their own solid group. you can always bring in an outside person too later on for a tune up.

  • Mike Youell

    Reply Reply October 28, 2014

    Great article. I ran a men’s group for a year. I’ve now set up another group called MEN HEAL for men’s MENtal HEALth and wellbeing.

    http://menheal.org.uk

    Twitter: @menhealuk

    If anyone wants any support setting up a men’s support group then contact me.

    • Dougie Morrison

      Reply Reply January 8, 2016

      Hi Mike,

      I have also sent this request through the website so forgive me if you are bombarded! I work for an NHS mental health project and I am looking to set up a Mens Group in Glasgow. I would be grateful if you could forward any advice or guidance to help with this process.

      Many thanks

      Dougie

  • Glenn ost

    Reply Reply March 2, 2017

    Hi Jayson, I am in the proces of creating an global online brotherhood and I want to thank for the inspiration for starting and offline one too.

    I see the post is already from 2009, so I understand why the link to http://revolutionaryman.com/ in the beginning of this post doesn’t work anymore.

    Following up on my last post about the “purpose and value of a men’s group”,
    in this post I’m covering a few key steps when starting a men’s group.

    Keep sharing the goodness brother

    Much love

    Glenn

  • Belinda

    Reply Reply April 16, 2017

    Can a woman start a men’s group? I have a shamanic background, and I’d like to lead a woman’s group, but I don’t see any corresponding men’s group in my area. Thanks.

Leave A Response

* Denotes Required Field