I Can’t Save My Kids From Pain

My son Lucian, the Wizard

My son Lucian, the Wizard

When my kids experience a trauma, it is the most sobering reminder that as a parent, I can’t protect my kids from pain and hurt that life brings them. Sure, I get that I can do my best to keep them safe, but none of my superpowers can stop the inevitable hurts my children will and must experience in order to have their life journey. What makes their hurts extra challenging for awakening parents like me, is that my way as a parent is to feel every single corner of my experience in relationship to what’s occurring with my kids. By choosing this way, I naturally feel a tremendous amount of emotion (rage, grief, fear, despair, hurt) and sensation in my heart and body. I’m learning that parenting consciously can be heartbreaking and devastating, especially as long as I willing to feel what is happening. It also puts me in touch with unhealed places in me from my past and gives me yet another opportunity to feel those personal hurts. Whew. The beauty in this pain is that by feeling all of it, I come back into connection with me. I come out of fear and back into relationship with my children. I return to being THE secure home base for them. Sure, I’m allowed to freak out, but it’s always up to me, the adult, to get resourced and centered in order to for my kids to trust all is well and that they are held in love, big love, and this requires that I relate directly to everything arising in my experience.

Lastly, to see my child’s adaptability in the face of adversity is stunning. Within the heartbreak also lies the triumph of their healing. I am in awe seeing firsthand, my children’s resiliency shine through the darkness. Once again, I’m on my knees, in gratitude for the privilege of raising a human being in this way.

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