Life Inventory–Be Honest. What Kind Of Man Are You?

picture-18If you died tomorrow, are you living the life you want? In my work with men, it is commonplace that men have never done a life inventory.

A self-evaluation or inventory is done in corporate America all the time. Businesses will spend thousands and thousands of dollars and months, maybe years, do a critical business inventory or evaluation. Why? To improve the quality of their business of course.

It seems interesting that we don’t do this with ourselves. Or, some of you do this kind of inventory too much. You might have ridiculously high expectations of yourself and use your own high standards to beat yourself up.

This is NOT what I’m talking about. I am talking about taking an honest look at yourself in the mirror to see what’s going well and where you could improve.

Why not take an honest look at your life and determine where you need to wake up and where you need to step up?

So, here is a simple outline for you to assess your life right now.


  1. Find some solitude to do this project and get quiet.
  2. Cut and paste this into a word document and go to town.
  3. Find a close friend and review it with them. Why? To receive some feedback from someone you trust.
  4. Make a decision on what your next steps are going to be. In other words what are you going to do knowing the truth revealed in your life inventory?

We’ll use the 5 pillars of revolutionary manhood as a jumping off point to explore each area, plus one more area to go further.

Let’s get started:

1. You

how well do I know myself?

how much do I allow myself to feel?

how open minded am I?

What from my past holds me back?

Where in my life am I out of integrity with myself?

How powerful am I? Do I know what it feels like to feel my personal power?

What is my relationship to myself like? Do I love myself? Like myself? Hate myself?

Is there any past behaviors I am ashamed of?

Am I fulfilled?

Am I happy?

Am I at peace with my life?

When I get into a funk or a rut, am I aware of what caused it? How to get out of it? What to do the next time it happens?

When I get triggered by life or by other people, what are my skills to address it? Could I improve upon these skills?

Am I living into my potential as a man? father? husband? son? friend?

Do I know why I am on the planet? What is my life’s mission or purpose?

How would I rate my integrity with myself?

Am I connected to myself and my truth?

What is my relationship to God/spirituality and how am I with this?

In the following areas, where can I improve or be more at peace with myself?

  • fitness
  • diet
  • mental, emotional well being
  • intellectual stimulation
  • self reflection
  • self-acceptance
  • body image

What situations do I feel powerless in?

When do I betray myself, my truth, or my integrity?

What is possible if I go deeper with myself and really get honest?

What is my core negative belief that drives much of my behavior?

What is my core positive belief when I feel powerful?

2. Others

How do I treat others?

How judgmental of others am I?

How genuine, rewarding and satisfying are my personal relationships?

Professional relationships?

Do I owe anyone an apology past or present? Do I need to make amends with anyone?

What is my love/intimate relationship like? Is it as deep and satisfying as it could be?

How is my sex life?

How thoroughly have I explored my sexuality? with myself? with a partner? Do I know what is possible sexually?

Do I know what it’s like to really love someone deeply?

Do I know what it feels like to be loved and really receive it from another person?

3. Leadership

What kind of leader am I?

What are my strengths and weaknesses as a leader?

How much do I lead? How much do I follow?

What more do I have to learn about leadership?

Who are my role models in the realm of leadership? Who do I want to be like?

What can I learn from women about leadership?

What kind of leadership model/system appeals to me?

What’s wrong with so many leadership systems out there? How could I do it differently?

What is my core leadership philosophy? at home? at work? in life?

4. Service

How much time do I spend serving/helping others?

How much time do I want to spend serving and helping others?

Do I serve because I get something such as approval or recognition or because I just love to serve?

Is service an integral part of my life’s work?

Is service an integral part of my current job situation? If not, am I okay with this? What could I do about it?

What does it mean to me to serve?

5. Celebration

How much do I celebrate my wins?

Do I celebrate others or get jealous when they are successful?

How much is play a part of my daily life?

How much is having fun a part of my daily life?

How do I stop myself from celebrating the wins in my life? Why is that?

When something goes well in my life, I typically ___________.  Keep it to myself? share it? party?

6. Truth, the present moment: This category is more abstract. It is the background of everything in our lives and what we return to over and over.

What is “the truth” mean to me?

Do I believe I have “the truth” and others do not?

What does “this moment” mean to me?

What does it mean to be present? Am I present? How could I be more present?

Do I have a practice, such as meditation, that brings me back to the present moment of what is actually going on?

What is the truth of this moment?

What more could I learn about the now or the present moment?

Follow up:

  1. Remember to continue after this list is complete by sharing it with someone.
  2. Next, determine what areas you want to target.
  3. Commit to a start date. Set a realistic time-line of when you want to get these areas handled.
  4. Always get feedback from others such as a mentor, a men’s group or a close friend. Would it be helpful for you to have an accountability partner?
  5. Celebrate your progress and practice enjoying personal growth and development.

Please post your questions that might help other men do a life inventory.

What other areas can you think of to list here?

Comment below…


  • Adrian Saunders

    Reply Reply August 25, 2009

    I love the post. I agree entirely with the recommendations. It is vital to take inventory and be on guard for those place where you are being inauthentic with yourself.

  • Stephen Douglas

    Reply Reply August 27, 2009

    wonderful inventory,where do we get the state of presence to acquire these answers?i ihink this type of presence would be the state of enlightment we all wish for,it all sounds so easy written on paper but accessing the truth of all this is quite profound.

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