The Simple Rule Of Thumb For Listening To My Wife

I was a very dense listener for many years…

…My wife took me to school on this one for a long time…

…until I got it.

Yes, it’s still challenging sometimes, but this rule of thumb has changed everything. I’m pretty sure it might help you as well.

how to listen to a woman













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I really believe this is one of the greatest gifts we can give to each other in our partnerships–-the gift of being seen and understood.

Growing up many of us didn’t get that or we got “missed” in areas that were special to us.

This led to adult relationships where we struggle to bring that part of us because we fear we may not be seen or accepted. And then of course, we justify why we can’t fully bring that part of us to the table because our partner will freak out.

This leads to resentments.

But herein is the risk you must take…

…If you want to be seen,

then show yourself, no matter their reaction.

And, if you want connection right now, make the first move by understanding your partner’s experience.

The benefits are huge if you can do this.

To sum it up in 2 steps:

  1. Risk being you.
  2. Understand them until they feel it.

Rock on!


Related posts: How to listen to my wife in 13 steps.

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1 Comment

  • Theda

    Reply Reply December 30, 2015

    Yes! I love your two statements! I think it’s similar to what Steve Bearman says: “Realness [“risk being you”] + attunement [“understand them until they feel it”] = intimacy.” So right on!

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