Trust Your Inner Authortity

A commitment to myself:

Me first! I commit to being true to myself, first and foremost. I commit to trusting my own experience above all else and getting to know my inner authority. No one holds the authority on me except me.

The moment you abandon your truth and yourself, is the moment you betray yourself.

I grew up in Utah so I have always been skeptical of dogma. On a regular basis I had Mormons trying to convert me to their faith. I was looked down upon, judged and patronized constantly. When someone else claims to have the truth where they are right and I am wrong, I contract.

Systems such as corporations and religions are very sophisticated about preying upon individuals who lack trust in themselves. These big systems know that people are looking for answers and will do anything to be reassured.

The system will then make false promises that are impossible to deliver upon (such as what happens when you die and the place you will go) in order to control people from finding the solutions themselves.

It is not surprising to me then, how many folks will place their full trust in another person, a priest, a church, dogma, a corporation a family member or whatever. The price tag? Confusion. Not knowing oneself. Pain. Betrayal.

God forbid we have a bunch of intelligent, free thinking, free acting people running around.

So, at 30 when I met a Buddhist teacher who said trust no one other than your own inner authority it was a breath of fresh air. But even Buddhism has blind faith, blind followers who just surrender their own wisdom to someone who holds more authority, seniority, or leadership over them.

It is human nature to look outside ourselves for the answers to life’s dilemmas. And, sometimes it is completely appropriate to seek council at various stages on the path. But to make this a habit as a way to avoid your own inner knowing is to cut yourself off from your life force and the tremendous wisdom that lies within you.

For example, a lot of men involved in men’s work will make statements like, “We’ll David Deida said….” My question to them is “Since when did David Deida become the authority on you?”

When we always surrender our trust to some other man who supposedly has more experience on us, we abandon our integrity and the truth of who we are.

A real mentor will help you cultivate your own knowing. A real teacher will help you find your own answers to life’s questions.

Young people today are tired of older people giving advice. It’s a bankrupt model and does little to empower a young person to be who he or she is supposed to be. Giving advice and thinking you know best, is to rob someone of trusting their own experience.

This is not to say we should not seek council or get feedback. Quite the contrary. Get feedback and then test it against your own experience.  On a regular basis, I open myself to feedback from trusted sources–then, I test it against my own experience.

Why are we so afraid to trust ourselves? When did trusting yourself get thrown out the window?

If you don’t know how, make it a practice to learn how. Trust in others is fine, but we have to trust ourselves first. Blind faith with no trust in oneself is a recipe for disaster.

But how do I develop my inner authority?

1. Trust your own experience. I learn through experience only. When we trust our own experience we develop our own inner knowing and intuition—a critical strength to have today. If we can give young people one lesson it is to trust their experience.

2. Learn from your teachers and then burn them. Milk a model until you are done with it and bury it. It is the only way you will develop your inner authority.

3. Spend a lot of time alone, in solitude, getting to know yourself.

** Important note for teenagers. It is appropriate to follow some external authority until you reach the right age of maturity. I know, a painful aspect of life. And remember to follow the wisdom of the external authority whom you trust and respect.

12 Comments

  • Brad

    Reply Reply September 18, 2009

    Hey everyone, what’s your take on all of this? Let’s start yapping about it. What’s hitting you, what’s not? This is some good stuff. My guess is we’re all taking it back to our individual drawing boards, and that’s fine. Curious about what you’re doing with it though.

  • Fabio

    Reply Reply September 18, 2009

    This note hits home. I notice how much emphasis I still often put on outward approval from mentors, professors or authority figures giving me the “ok” and handing me the truth.
    However I am starting to catch it more and more often.

    I love this concept of developing my own inner king, because I am learning how to trust my bodily feelings and sensations, really feel into my inner wisdom. I have been using this with life-changing decision and with something as simple as deciding what it is that I want to eat in the moment. “I am cooking some pasta, but after truly checking in with my body I realize that all I want is a peach.”

    • jayson

      Reply Reply September 18, 2009

      So inspiring to hear bro. Thank you for trusting the king in you.

  • Alex

    Reply Reply September 18, 2009

    I want to thank you for helping me come to this realization on my own during the first weekend we were together. Priceless. It feels so freeing, so open.

    AJ

    • jayson

      Reply Reply September 18, 2009

      you are most welcome. thanks for having the balls to step into you more fully.

  • Brad

    Reply Reply September 19, 2009

    As pointed out in the post, “experience” is so crucial. Feedback’s more relevant, more weighty when we have less experience. But as we get out there and experience things, it’s not that we need LESS feedback, it’s that we need to rely on it less. I think sometimes we forget how much we’ve experienced.

  • Jeffrey Platts

    Reply Reply October 13, 2009

    An awesome and powerful reminder. And I have to admit you got me on this part. 🙂

    A lot of men involved in men’s work will make statements like, “We’ll David Deida said….” My question to them is “Since when did David Deida become the authority on you?”

  • air jordan 12

    Reply Reply June 8, 2010

    Here elaborates the matter not only extensively but also detailly .I support the
    write's unique point.It is useful and benefit to your daily life.You can go those
    sits to know more relate things.They are strongly recommended by friends.Personally!
    http://likeblackhulks.com/

  • Elle

    Reply Reply December 24, 2010

    I am a 25-year-old daughter of a mother with malignant Narcissitic Personality Disorder, I have only very recently begun the struggle of understanding my own inner authority. Your advice is well-written, and is certainly applicable for a much larger audience than teenage boys (although they are definitely an important one). Thank you for your insight on this subject – you have framed it in a very helpful/insightful way.

  • Elle

    Reply Reply December 25, 2010

    I am a 25-year-old daughter of a mother with malignant Narcissitic Personality Disorder, I have only very recently begun the struggle of understanding my own inner authority. Your advice is well-written, and is certainly applicable for a much larger audience than teenage boys (although they are definitely an important one). Thank you for your insight on this subject – you have framed it in a very helpful/insightful way.

Leave A Response

* Denotes Required Field