Why We Attract Hurtful Patterns Into Our Lives

Most people are trying to regulate their nervous system from the outside. This is appropriate and normal. This is critical in infant development. As babies, we “attune” to our external environment. If the big people and our environment are safe, we feel safe inside. If it isn’t safe, we don’t feel safe inside. As we grow we attract into our lives the ongoing vibration of our own nervous system. So, if we are anxious, we attract more of that. If we are hypervigilant, we attract things that mirror or require hypervigilance. If we are “negative”, we attract that. If we are calm and relaxed, that is mirrored back to us.

For those of us who feel challenged a lot, it’s important to understand why we keep attracting stressful, traumatic, repeating events, or certain people, into our lives. Most people think that it’s our bad luck, bad karma, or perhaps it’s someone else’s fault that our path feels so hard. We might look for a target to blame for our misery. We slowly slip into the victim seat.

However, if we investigate deeply about this, we start to realize that we are attracting that vibration into our lives for a reason—to repair and update the old hard drive. In other words, if we catch on, we use the “unsafe” environment as a wake up call to seek higher ground. We realize it’s hurting us, and the developmental task in that moment is to get in the driver’s seat and renovate and retrain the rusty wires from the inside out. During this process we can “find” people and environments that are “safe” that can hold us with love and respect through this growth period, and over the long haul–people who are running a different, “higher” vibration than us, so we can attune to that. But they don’t “find us” until we take responsibility for our outdated default setting. If we do rise to the occasion, we can now “find them” because we are doing something about it. Eventually, we pass through this portal in our soul’s evolution and we no longer keep attracting old painful experiences in the same way. The sun comes out and our vision is wider. We can hold more. We can see more. Having passed through this, we stand stronger in ourselves and are more whole. A nervous system upgrade. Confidence through hard won experience. At last we are demonstrating that we are ready for the next stage in our development.

 

3 Comments

  • Neha

    Reply Reply March 9, 2014

    This is so beautiful..and more so because it resonates with my present state of being..I am in the process of using my ‘unsafe’ environment to reach higher grounds..and while recognizing and appreciating safe people around me, i am hopeful of more such people and environments ‘finding’ me as i am finally consciously and ‘concentratedly’ and as i believe always with ‘good intentions’ doing something about it.

  • Gabi

    Reply Reply July 2, 2017

    I really am trying to understand what “taking responsibility” and “rising to the ocassion” means. Therapy? Or something more active? Because, truly, I’m realizing this in my life now and I have been in therapy for 8 months, and things have only escalated even though in every other respect (professionally, etc), I am moving forward. Could you please elaborate?

    • Jayson

      Reply Reply July 8, 2017

      Yeah, it’s your life, it’s in your hands, you MUST take responsibility to change it (not change others), but change you, the way you see things, act, speak, listen,etc. Come to the relationship school if you really want to learn how.

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